On Purpose Woman
A Force for Good
July / Aug 2020
On Purpose Woman
Elaine Robinson Beattie
Felicia Barlow Clar
Kim Wells Eley
Lisa Diane McCall
Lilia Shoshanna Rae
Cover Art By:
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Ginny Robertson, Founder On Purpose Woman Community
Founder/Editor On Purpose Woman Magazine
Kathryn Yarborough, Global Facilitator On Purpose Woman Community
Creative Director On Purpose Woman Magazine
On Purpose Woman Magazine & The On Purpose Woman Community Stand With Our Friends and Colleagues
Black Lives Matter
For 20 years, the On Purpose Woman Community has welcomed and encouraged all women to join us in “connecting women around the world to their gifts, their purpose, and each other.”
On Purpose Woman Magazine has always been committed to diversity within our pages.
We embrace diversity.
We will work harder to practice inclusion.
We will use our platforms of privilege to do both.
14 A Feminine Response
18 Pandemic Vision Quest
Lisa Diane McCall
26 Embrace Your Feminine Genius: The 4 Key Skills That Stop Rejection and Encourage Connection Stacey Murphy
36 Death is Not Macabre: Reclaiming Our End of Life Rituals
Felicia Barlow Clar
46 Make Friends with Change, Discomfort and ‘Not Knowing’ Andrea Hylen
50 Real Women. Real Purpose. Talk Show.
56 Attract Clients Like a Magnet
67 Tracy Brown Video
68 More Gratitude Than Yesterday Laura Di Franco
70 Black Women Owned Business Directory
74 Putting the Awe in Awesome: Authentic Engagement in a Time of Crisis
84 Cover Artist, Valerie Ric
88 Special Ingredient for Writing Success? Knowing When to Say When and Start Writing
Kim Wells Eley
96 How Being Fully Present Helps Us Create a Better Future
Lilia Shoshanna Rae
104 Business Directory
110 Emotionally Woke: The Value of Shame
118 The Practice of Cultural Humility
Elaine Robinson Beattie
126 The Affirmation Board Ginny Robertson Talks With Christalene Karaiskakisn
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Inside On Purpose Woman...
Together we can craft a more just world filled with hope.
We are being called to see and feel deeply, perhaps more so than ever before. The impact of COVID-19 and the harm being done to People of Color are causing distress and concern. Both can alter our interactions with one another.
The scope and depth of all that is happening can feel overwhelming. You may be struggling with how it is affecting your life and the lives of others. You may be wondering what you can do to shift things for the good of everyone.
As you seek healthier ways of relating to others, I invite you to consider a feminine leadership model. This model is one of inclusion where all voices are honored, heard, and respected. It is circular because no one is above the other.Each person holds an equal place within the group. The individual gifts and characteristics of each person are welcomed and add to the well-being of the whole. In this form of community, direction and management are shared.
Within this feminine approach, there is tremendous support for every person. There is great love for each individual and the place that they hold. The group embraces deep compassion for those experiencing pain. It is a place of genuine connection and heartfelt relationships.
Deep listening occurs when people feel seen, valued, respected, and supported. From this space, collaborative initiatives of change are born. Aligned action is then used to address injustices, uphold accountability, and develop new ways of being. Messages that inspire, comfort, and uplift are created collectively and offered to each other and to the world.
Together we can craft a more just world filled with hope. As we offer love, inclusion, respect, and shared leadership, we will implement something incredibly beautiful that nourishes and sustains us all.
Such a possibility excites me! I hope it inspires you as well.
Shelly O’Connell, Life Coach, engages women in the discovery and use of their own wisdom. Connect here:
by Shelly O’Connell
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by Lisa Diane McCall
The coronavirus pandemic has given us pause in many ways, one of which is by forcing us to sit in captured space. We had to stop moving about the external world and retreat within our homes to stay safe. The spread of the virus forced the hand that made us go in physically. And, perhaps it also challenged us to go in on an emotional, spiritual, and soul level, much like going on a vision quest.
Traditionally, it is severing from everyday life and immersing in a nature setting in order to seek greater depth and clarity about your life purpose. You unplug from technology and responsibilities and part of the journey is to contemplatively sit solo 3-4 days while fasting.
Unlike a vision quest, eating, cohabiting, and working have probably been part of staying home. But think about it. Your life slowed down considerably. Without commuting and being out and about socially, life took on a different feel. Even if you were busy, a part of you may have been contemplating what uncertainty means for you as well as for the world. Time was granted to just “be” more and focus on what has been neglected.
With the impact of these extreme conditions, we have an opportunity to rethink, revision, and recreate who we are and how we operate. Perhaps we can view this time removed as a “pandemic vision quest,” a descent to soul, uncovering and retrieving the lost wisdom of our heart. To observe the noble silence that dwells deep within. This unsettling time may not be giving us what we want, but it may very well be giving us what we need.
Think about the following questions:
What has been coming up for me during quarantine, especially in light of the uncertainty and the unrest that is happening globally?
What do I feel stirring deep inside?
What is trying to get my attention?
What limitations can I shed to allow a larger story of my life to be lived?
A very powerful way to process uncertainty is to walk in nature while contemplating questions about your life story. During my three vision quest experiences, (one in Utah and two in the Sahara Desert), the wilderness helped to shift my inner dialogue. Wind was a major aspect that became my teacher. All three quests involved high wind conditions, sometimes with annoyance and discomfort. Features of the natural world can metaphorically mirror your inner story. Each time, I worked with what wind stirred up inside of me.
Ultimately, I came to realize that wind represented all the chattering voices in my head. I was able to “hear” them outside of myself. I was able to objectively observe and feel how annoying and uncomfortable those voices had been. I then realized I didn’t have to put up with the chatter. I had the choice to diminish their power over me. But you don’t have to go to the remote wilderness to benefit from nature’s wisdom.
Conditions are loosening, releasing us from our “solo” confines, so why not continue the pandemic vision quest in local parks and preserves? These times are begging us to face our restlessness, (individually and societally), and to not go back to sleep. What in your life are you willing to give up, change, shift that will benefit yourself as well as the world? By choosing to tune in to those hidden and deeper parts of yourself, you face your wounds. The more each of us heals those wounds the more balanced we will be within as well as without. Our world needs healing between races, countries, ethnicities, as well as with nature.
As a life coach versed in nature-based experiences, I guide individuals and groups of four, (in keeping with social distancing requirements), on how to intentionally wander the land using careful attentiveness. We meet in a park for 2-3 hours. Together we identify what issues are arising in you, set an intention for the walk, and how to be open to nature’s symbols and images that draw your attention. In this way, the nature of your soul meets the soul of nature. After the walk, you tell your story followed by my mirroring of that story to deepen your journey. Contact me for more details and how you can listen with the ears of your heart to all the voices you carry within.
What is a vision quest?
Lisa Diane McCall, Certified Life Coach, uses creative approaches along with nature-based soul work, Voice Dialogue, and shamanism.
My novel based on my two Sahara vision quests is on Amazon:
These times are begging us to face our restlessness... and to not go back to sleep.
Embrace Your Feminine Genius
The 4 Key Skills That Stop Rejection and Encourage Connection
by Stacey Murphy
Rejection, like vulnerability, can feel like a 4-letter word you loathe to hear. It triggers all types of negative emotions. I'll be the first to say I've been rejected a lot in my lifetime.
We all have. Yet it was the rejection from men that seem to hurt me the most. It took me a long time to accept; but, the reason for the rejection was my strong masculine energy. Because of this, men had a hard time warming up to me. I was totally missing the boat and pointing my finger, wondering what was wrong with them.
Speaking of "boat" - every day, I took the Staten Island Ferry (in New York City) to work. There was a gentleman I'd see every day dressed in his dashing suit. After 7 months of seeing each other, I caught him smiling at me, so we started talking. Then he confessed,"I wanted to say something to you for months, BUT you had the "don't bother me" look (code for "resting bitch-face"). So, I thought, let me just shoot her a smile and see what happens."
I was surprised and disappointed; surprised he was eyeing me for months, but disappointed in the impression I was sending. That wasn't my intention. I wasn't projecting who I truly was.
Have you ever felt misunderstood? Or, caught up in your own masculine energy?
You know the saying, "You only have one shot to make a good first impression." That's it!
In 7 seconds, a man is determining - Are you friend or foe? Will you reject his approach? Or will you be fun to be around? All of this in 7 seconds.
If I had projected confidence in my magical presence (aka wooing/ charisma), I could have enjoyed this gentleman's company much sooner.
According to the StrengthsFinders assessment: "WOO stands for winning others over. At the heart, WOO is a social Intelligence theme. People with the strength of WOO have a great capacity to inspire and motivate others. WOO is not just a cheerleader, rather, WOO is adept and skillful in the social setting."
If you want to lead a team and motivate others to do their best, wooing is a key skill. The same applies to romantic relationships. And, women naturally embody this skill.
Unfortunately, most women were brainwashed to think wooing, charisma, and seduction are manipulation. This was done in time, to keep women small, by disconnecting us from our inner power – our feminine genius. This was one of the unintentional consequences of the 2nd wave of the feminist movement. We were told you can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.
But little did we know, we'd be frying our men in the pan as well.
Now let's fast-forward to 2020. We're currently in the 4th wave of the feminist movement. Unlike the past, this wave accounts for the diverse nature of women. One of those branches is the "Lipstick Feminist." These are women screaming from the rooftops – "I'm a powerful woman to be reckoned with, and I'm proud to do it like a girl. I'm a woman championing equal rights, and I'm proud to do it like a girl." In other words, they NOW see their feminine nature as a strength vs. a weakness. And, one of the most powerful feminine traits is the art of wooing and charisma.
This is why I was being rejected. I checked my feminine power at the door, so I was sending masculine energy to men in its place. Unless a man is looking for his Romeo (vs. Juliet), how enticing is that? Think of it this way, as a woman, if a man is trying to court you and he's living large in his feminine energy, how appealing would that be to you?
With this understanding, I made a commitment to turn this around. The person who helped me do this was Scarlette O'Dare. Scarlette is my sassy alter-ego (my Love Goddess Persona). She helped me get out of my head and into my body, my emotions, and my feminine power. It was so successful, I include persona work as a key tool in my Love Goddess Mastery Program.
My Love Goddess persona taught me how to blend my intensity and build my confidence while being deliciously feminine and fun.
For a moment, can you see yourself in this… You're working hard to be the biggest and best at what you do. You say to yourself, "I have the education, I have all the skills, and you've checked all the boxes you were told are needed to deliver you to the promised land; yet, you're still waiting. And waiting. And waiting. You observe others coming behind you, then passing you. You think, "What the heck?".
Here's how you can break this cycle.
Let's first understand what charisma (aka Wooing) can do for you:
· With charisma, you're able to stir passion in a man (and others)
· With charisma, it's easier for people to trust you (think motivational speakers)
· With charisma, it inspires a man to give his all to you
· With charisma, people are able to forgive any missteps or faux-pas
· With charisma, it compels a man to take you seriously allowing you to be a Power Couple
If you thought charisma was just some "nice to have," I'm here to tell you it's the power source of your feminine genius that you're not leveraging. This leads to struggle vs. ease - it can cost you.
1. Lead with Feeling
Your power and presence come from what you allow yourself to feel. When you're stuck in your head by always trying to be perfect, come up with the right answer, over-analyze, or worry, you get disconnected from your feelings. When this happens, other people "hear" what you're saying, but they're not engaged in what you're saying. When you're connecting with people from the heart, they feel you. And, when people feel you, they're able to sense you're not hiding anything. This allows others to feel safe and to engage with you from their heart space.
2. Passionate Communicator
Charismatic leaders don't hold back expressing what they're passionate about. Passion is infectious. It stirs the heart and gives others permission to be passionate with you. Passion communicates hope and desire. Passion allows people to feel a purpose and cause that's greater than themselves, which moves them into action. People are inundated with negative news and naysayers, so when they're in the company of a person who's passionate and enthusiastic, it's a natural magnet of attraction.
3. Courage to be Vulnerable
Charismatic people are willing to be vulnerable. This vulnerability is what allows them to be authentic and real. With all the posers and pretenders that live in our world, afraid to be themselves, when you come across a person who's willing to be genuine, you feel you can trust them. People mistake vulnerability as sharing your deepest and darkest secrets. What vulnerability truly is, is having the courage to be YOU…warts and all! Makeup or not. Introvert or extrovert. You curse like a sailor, or you have angelic words flowing from your mouth. Whatever it is, it's all good. Truly charismatic people don't worry about being perfect, because they know that's a bunch of crap. There's no such thing as perfection. Perfectionism disconnects you from being vulnerable, authentic, and real. So if you're constantly chasing the dangling carrot of perfection, that's why happiness and success have probably eluded you.
4. Willing to Be Seen
Charismatic people aren't hiding in the background. They're willing to be seen. They're willing to play BIG in life. They're willing to be and make a difference. You can only do this if people see and know you're there. It's not up to others to find you. Here's a newsflash! Charismatic people are both Introverts and Extroverts. I'm an introvert. I don't hide it. I don't pretend to be an extrovert. When you have the confidence to be seen, heard, and understood, you give others permission to be seen, heard, and understood in your presence. This is huge! Everyone desires to be seen (not overlooked), to be heard (vs. feeling invisible), and to be understood (vs. seeming irrelevant).
So, how do these 4 qualities show up in you?
The world is going through an epic meltdown many have never experienced in our modern age. This requires us to reinvent ourselves, uplevel our thinking, and re-evaluate our way of life.
The good news – massive change always brings great opportunities. You have the opportunity to step into your greatness.
Four qualities charismatic women employ that you can too:
Stacey Murphy is Your Love & Intimacy Coach. If you want to step further into embracing your feminine genius, starting Tuesday, July 21st, I will teach a complimentary 4-week series called From First Date to Forever: 4 Love Goddess Secrets That Always Get the Guy (And, the Money). Click this link to register. The Vixen Academy: www.theVixenAcademy.com
Death is Not Macabre
Reclaiming Our End of Life Rituals
By Felicia Barlow
Change is inevitable. It touches everything. Now that we’ve been forced to pause and reflect, our new reality involves confronting mortality - ours and our loved ones - sooner than we might have ever imagined. With the amount of diversity and religious/spiritual beliefs in the world, why is it that we in the United States have had one primary expression for final services and grief since the Civil War? The traditional, melancholy funeral.
Until the Civil War, most deaths and funerals occurred in the home. End of life care involved the family and the community, which included coffin making and grave digging. Because of the war, certain practices (embalming, mass-marketed coffins) became the basis for today’s funeral, an industry-made construct rooted in war logistics, not religious or cultural beliefs.
In recent years, a growing movement has begun to raise awareness around the absurd notion most live by - if we don’t speak about death, we can avoid it. This pandemic has pushed the conversation right to the forefront. The “death positive movement” aims to raise consciousness of our fears and reshape our understanding that death is natural, although our anxiety may not be. The movement was also founded (by a mortician questioning industry practices) to bring end-of-life rituals back to the family, provide alternatives to funerals, and truly honor the deceased.
We are now free to openly address death, and move our end-of-life planning from theoretical to practical. We can explore alternatives to funeral homes that more fully express who we are, as well as honor our own beliefs, rituals, and traditions. We can prepare our plans.
Public health measures attempting to curb the spread of the coronavirus are altering the ways we can currently care for the dying, and gather to bury or cremate and memorialize our loved ones. We must adhere to the restrictions, while at the same time be aware there are resources and service providers filling a critical gap; many have been around for quite a while.
For more than 10 years, we have created communities and friendships, gathering online. Virtual funerals and webcasts are not new, but because of the pandemic, they are the new norm, allowing for larger group gatherings. A virtual service using videoconferencing can fulfill an immediate need to come together; it is also an invaluable tool for loved ones who cannot travel. Simply note in the obituary how family and friends get access.In a virtual service, you are free to be creative in how you want the time used. For example, physical touch and hugging are often important at a service. Have guests gather items of the deceased and share stories of its importance and memories. Host a candle lighting ceremony and request guest readings. Invite an officiant to preside. Hire a producer to handle the details.
The cremation rate has risen drastically in the past few years. Not only are cremations less expensive, but they also open many possibilities with personalized, unique celebrations of life. Because a body is not present, these services have never had to take place immediately following death. Families who take a pause should never question their choice to reflect and grieve in the way they desire.
Working with professionals outside a funeral home offers the ability to truly cater to your loved one while offering those left behind the space to grieve without the overwhelm and chaos event planning brings. Simply watch one episode of Bridezillas for proof of that!
Creating a sacred space with your own rituals and traditions can happen anywhere, anytime, as long as your heart is open.
Create a private Facebook group. Invite friends, use it as a memorial/altar.
Compile music playlists of the deceased favorites on a digital music service and share.
Create art, a photo montage, poetry. Compile into a legacy photobook available online.
Start a virtual art group and create prayer beads.
Record a legacy video and either edit yourself or hire a pro.
Plant a tree in a memorial garden. These are often found in arboretums, national parks, and around the world (search online: planting a memorial tree).
Name a star in the sky (search online: name a star).
Get a bench made in your city with your loved one’s name on a plaque.
Give yourself permission to grieve and acknowledge loved ones in your own new way. Look to other cultures, online tools, and for members in the community who can assist with these suggestions…and new ideas. Private practitioners are filling these needs, including a handful of celebration of life planners.
The majority of the population desires to pass at home. Home funerals are a time-honored choice, and despite the services available in professional death care, it is and has always been legal in every state for families to care for their own loved ones at home from death to final disposition. The National Home Funeral Alliance can help you navigate end of life rules in your state.
Death is not macabre. It is the very essence of being human. The truth is, life is fragile; it always has been. As heartbreaking as death is, this pandemic is an opportunity to open up about the expanding possibilities to reclaim our end-of-life options and personal rituals.
Ideas to help honor your loved one:
After experiencing tremendous back-to-back loss, Felicia Barlow Clar turned her pain into purpose, combining her talents in production with her deep spiritual journey, and created Epilogue Tributes. She believes by embracing mortality and death, we revere life much more. Felicia is currently enrolled in CareDoula®️ End of life training. For more information:
Death is not macabre. It is the very essence
of being human.
From Kathryn Yarborough:
Look to the Future with Positive Expectation!
There are unknowns in life, but many important questions will have answers if we’re willing to create the space for them to emerge. This requires the faith to sit consciously with an inquiry, to hear what comes to mind, and to feel what’s in our hearts and bodies. What are the messages you are receiving? How does it feel in your stomach? What unusual word or phrase comes to mind? The power is in the willingness to stay with the process until we have a knowing.
(Excerpt from Maximum Flux by Lucky Sweeny and Bonnie Kelley in the Heal My Voice Book: Innovative Voices: True Stories by Women Awakening a New World.)
After two years, I bid farewell to East Stroudsburg State College in 1977. I had an aha after the first year and spent the summer working as a maid, at the George Washington motel, watching Phil Donahue interview guests on TV, like Alex Haley (Roots), Gail Sheehy (Passages), Wayne Dyer (Your Erroneous Zones) and Shere Hite (The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality) while changing bed sheets, cleaning bathrooms and vacuuming. Phil Donahue, a talk show host, ran through the audience, encouraging everyone to ask questions.
That summer of ‘pause and reflect’ (Tip #3) encouraged me to ask questions and reflect, too. I returned to college with a renewed purpose to study. At the end of my 2nd year, I left without registering for the next semester. Returning to my parent’s home in Valley Forge, I started a job as a singing waitress and stayed in the discomfort of not knowing where I was going next. A month later, a friend called and asked if I would attend an Open House at the School of Social Work at Temple University in Philadelphia. I felt so alive there! I loved the city, the campus, and the program, which included three practicums. By staying in a big question and ‘not knowing,’ the answer appeared. I registered at Temple, graduated 2 years later, and was hired to work at The Family Planning Council of Southeastern Pennsylvania, as a research assistant. (My friend did not transfer to Temple.)
Pausing and Reflecting in Step #3, the pump has been primed. To enter the 4th step, you have to let go of part of your identity and the attachment to the life you think you are going to live. I had to let go of being a college student. Who was I without that identity? Pausing creates an empty space, and in Step 4 there is surrender and trust and action. Follow the path that appears before you. An invitation to an Open House. A meeting of synchronicity.
Change means letting go. It takes courage and guts. What are you willing to release?
Shake things up! After living on the road for a few years, in 2018, I was beginning to feel that I wanted to put down roots somewhere. I had been living in different parts of the US and Sweden. So, where did I want to live? I couldn’t decide. Instead of slowing down, I used the snow globe effect and said yes to three pet sits that were in different parts of Los Angeles. All of them were 3-5 days. It disrupted my life, as I had to readjust to a different location and a different animal and a different routine. Shake out the cobwebs of my brain. Ask again, where did I want to live? At the 3rd pet sit, I had a flash of an idea. I didn’t want to rent my own home. I wanted to commit to a pet sit for three months and finish writing my book. The next day on Trusted Housesitters, I found the perfect fit in Seattle. Two dogs in a 4 bedroom home next to the Washington Arboretum and the use of the family car.
Take a moment here to pause. Close your eyes and drop into the energy field of your body.
Now, tune into a big question.
‘What can I learn about myself or my relationship during this time of change? What is my purpose? Why am I alive right now?’
Instead of repeating, ‘I don’t know,’imagine that in this moment, you are‘in the process of knowing.’ The answer will be revealed to you at the perfect time. Right now, you are in the ‘process of knowing.’
In the Jan/Feb issue of On Purpose Woman Magazine, I shared Tip #1: Be willing to go on the ride. ”There was a spark and a desire to say yes to “something.” A business idea, a relationship, a class, or an event.
In the March/April issue, Tip #2: Notice what turns you on, there is something in the desire that lights you up and ignites your passion. You can feel it in your body and heart. That is the key.
In May/June issue, Tip #3: Pause and Reflect. You have to be empty so new ideas can land. Give yourself space to daydream. Even when you have an idea, and you are on the ride, create some space for the idea to be dormant, and take root.
In Tip #4, Make friends with change, discomfort, and ‘not knowing.’ You begin to take action. Create some micro-disruptions to shake things up. Let go of the attachment to an image of your life. Let go of your identity. Let go of logic.
Take action by following the breadcrumbs
Micro-disrupt your life, like shaking a snow globe
Stay curious and open
Step out of your comfort zone
Be willing to go on the ride. Notice what turns you on. Pause and Reflect. Make friends with change, discomfort, and ‘not knowing.’
Make Friends with Change, Discomfort and ‘Not Knowing’
A Tip for Building an Innovative Business and Life (Tip #4 of 8)
By Andrea Hylen
Tip #4 of 8 Tips for Building an Innovative Business and Life
Andrea Hylen is the author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The Writing Incubator, on-line writing community. www.andreahylen.com
Why am I alive right now?
Energetically, you can either attract or repel clients.
If you’re an on purpose, heart-based solopreneur or small business owner, and it’s UP TO YOU to attract your clients, wouldn’t it be great if you could attract clients easily?
1.Get clear inside yourself that you actually want clients.
2.Identify your ideal clients and be sure you like them!
3.Imagine having lots of clients and feeling good about it.
4.Know there are ways your ideal clients can find out about you.
5.Feel great when you imagine your ideal clients reaching out to you.
6.Act and vibrate like a person who attracts clients – even if you haven’t yet.
Get clear inside yourself that you actually want clients.
To attract clients like a magnet, you have to really want clients in your life. You have to want them to show up, love it when they ask for your assistance, and be delighted when they say YES to working with you.
If you feel any inner resistance, you could unconsciously repel them. If other things are more important to you, be honest with yourself. Maybe it’s not the right time for you to attract clients.
New Solopreneurs and Small Business Owners
If you’re new to your business or to providing your service, you may not even know if you really want clients. So… get experience!
Give yourself six months or a year and do everything you can to attract clients so you can find out. Work with people. Sell your services. See what it’s like. That way you’ll be able to decide if you actually want clients.
Two years ago I launched a new service. It’s called Manifesting Clients Classes. In these classes, my clients get to practice writing, reading, and saying a new story about the future so that they use the Law of Attraction to attract clients or anything else they need to grow their business. When I started these classes two years ago, I didn’t know if I’d like facilitating them; I didn’t know if my clients would benefit from them.
Now – two years later - I know that I love facilitating these classes. I know that people who show up regularly manifest clients. These classes work.
Now that I know this, I WANT CLIENTS in my classes. I am ready to attract them like a magnet!
Identify your ideal clients and be sure you like them!
If you know you want clients, great! The next step is to become super clear about WHO you want to attract. If you feel excited when you think about them, the easier it’s going to be for you to attract them.
Describe three of your favorite clients – real or imaginary. Write about why those clients want to work with you and why you feel good when you think about those clients.
My favorite clients are heart-based, on purpose solopreneurs. They are spiritual (not religious). They believe in something bigger than themselves. On some level they feel called to do the work they do. They’re birthing a business, or birthing the next level of their business, and they want some assistance.
I feel good about working with my ideal clients because I know that if they manifest clients, they’ll make a positive difference in their clients’ lives and the world will be a better place. When I imagine them in my trainings, classes, or private sessions, I feel good. I want them to show up in my life!
Imagine having lots of clients and feeling good about it.
To be a magnet to your ideal clients, imagine a future when they’re in your life. If you feel good about it, great. You will attract them.
If you don’t feel good when you imagine having all the clients you want, then you may need to go back to the drawing board. Something is off. You may need to clear blocks or release resistances. You may need to change something about your vision, your ideal clients, or the services you provide.
When you get to where you feel good when you imagine them, you’ll be a magnet to them.
Know there are ways your ideal clients can find out about you.
If you’ve been invisible and haven’t told anyone about your services or products, you can’t attract clients. There’s no way for you to become a magnet to them because something inside of you will know they can’t find you.
To be a magnet to your ideal clients, do things to get the word out about your business like…
Post on Facebook about your services.
Place an ad in a magazine like this one.
Go to networking events and tell people about what you do.
Then when you imagine having all the clients you want, you’ll believe it’s possible because there are ways your ideal clients could find out about you.
Feel great when you imagine your ideal clients reaching out to you.
Once your ideal clients have heard about you, they’re going to reach out to you.
They’ll either email, call, text, message you on Facebook, schedule a consultation, or something else. When you imagine getting that notification, how do you feel? If you feel excited about it… GREAT! Then you can be a magnet to your ideal clients.
If you feel concerned, scared, or upset… or anything other than great… explore your feelings. You may need to go back to the drawing board. Look at your resistances. Release your blocks. Explore what needs to happen for you to feel great when a new client reaches out to you.
The answer is inside of you.
Act and vibrate like a person who attracts clients – even if you haven’t yet.
When you imagine attracting all the clients you want, what are you like? How do you interact with others? Where do you go - in person and online?
Become this person. Act and vibrate like her, even if you don’t have any clients yet.
When I imagine my future self – the me who has an amazingly, thriving business – clients, events, a huge Facebook group, and more – I imagine that I am present with whomever I’m with or whatever I’m doing. I’m being the fullest expression of myself all the time (I don’t hold myself back). I care about others.
So if I want to be a magnet to clients, today I get to practice being present, caring about others, and being the fullest expression of myself.
If you’re an on purpose, heart-based solopreneur or small business owner and it’s UP TO YOU to attract your clients, wouldn’t it be great if your ideal clients would just show up in your life whenever you wanted them to?
Like a Magnet
By Kathryn Yarborough
6 Inner Shifts to Become a
Magnet to Your Ideal Clients
Kathryn Yarborough is the creator of the Manifesting Clients Academy. She teaches heart-based, on purpose solopreneurs and small business owners how to do the inner and outer work needed to manifest clients and grow a business they love. To find out more, go to her website athttps://www.manifestingclientsacademy.com/. Stay connected with her on Facebook by joining her Moving Sidewalk Movement group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/MovingSidewalkMovement.
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Once You Know Your Purpose,
Ginny Robertson interviewed by Kathryn Yarborough
Tracy Brown is a Dallas based author, nationally known for shifting conversations about diversity and inclusion. She works with corporations and nonprofits and also offers guidance to churches and spiritual leaders. Tracy’s most recent book is “Stained Glass Spirit: Becoming a Spiritual Community Where Oneness Does Not Require Sameness.”
Tracy Brown asks:
Why do some people think saying black lives matter is the equivalent to saying you don't support the police?”
Watch her FB Live video for suggestions on how to respond to your friend, neighbor, coworker, church member or family member during this emotional time following the murder of George Floyd.
For more videos and support in finding “What Is Yours To Do?” in community join Tracy’s FB group: What Is Mine To Do?
by Laura Di Franco
Laura Di Franco, MPT can help you have fun with fear and write, speak and share words that leave the legacy you were born for. Time to be brave! Email Laura at firstname.lastname@example.org
Earliest sunrise light is the best
baking the back of my neck
with just the right degree.
Shimmering leaves of gold
Birds like a ballroom of old ladies at bingo
happy to be alive
and telling someone about it.
Feast of summer greens
grounding bare feet to the earth
my soul follows
resting in a pelvic breath
the best words flowing with the exhales.
Earliest moments are highest
vibrating their way in easily
ringing out the dirty wet rag of my heart
from the what-if dreams the night before
preparing it to soak up
the blood, sweat, tears, and joy of the day.
Soft flickers, crackles and pops
shining through glitter-shaped crevices
serving a breakfast plate down in front of me
“Coffee with that?” she asks.
I devour each bite
in profound stillness
with extra slow chewing
with more gratitude than yesterday
and fly back to the nest
to share it.
Elaine Robinson Beattie.Lead Well Consulting.Atlanta, GA.I work with C-Suite Executives who invest in personal growth for themselves and their team.
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Joy Bramble. The Baltimore Times/Times of Baltimore, Inc. Baltimore, MD. Publisher of weekly newspapers that deliver informative, inspirational and empowering stories to the African American community. www.baltimoretimes-online.com
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Cassandra Herbert. Zest and Harmony. Burtonsville, MD. Registered Nurse, Holistic nurse psychotherapist, Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Nutritional Endocrinology Coach and Educator, Speaker and Author. www.zestandharmonycounseling.com
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Valerie Rich.Painted Imagery.Baltimore, MD.Artist. Author. Visionary Journal classes online. Sip ‘n Paint parties. www.instagram.com/painted_imagery_/
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Karin M. Yearwood. The Sacred Mindset Recovery Lab.Baltimore, MD.Helping divine leaders master their human reality & take quantum leaps. www.karinmyearwood.com
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Putting the AWE in Awesome
Authentic Engagement in a Time of Crisis
By Carol Burbank
There’s no denying this is a time of crisis, with all the bells and whistles that come along with it: disruption, risk, growth, new awareness, and resistance. Whether we are working or looking for work, social distancing, or re-integrating into face-to-face contact, building a business or settling into retirement, healthy or struggling with illness, each of us has heard the wake-up call of our times. Each of us has unique gifts to answer that call. And every day, each of us faces many choices about how we’ll answer and live purposefully and with integrity.
I’ve been one of the people whose work hours have increased, and it’s been a huge blessing within a bigger challenge. New contracts to meet demands for online course development, and new writing mentees and editing work thanks to all the creative energy being loosed in the world have helped me connect with inspiring distant colleagues. Awesome, right?
But the inter/national crisis, coupled with social distancing, has required me to learn new ways of working, playing, building community, and stepping up to my civic responsibility. I spend more time than I’m comfortable with asking questions about what’s right instead of acting on my “to do” list. It’s sometimes very uncomfortable.
My own experience of this exhausting time is of feeling blessed, lonely, and worried. Balance has been a real challenge. I’ve poured my questions into my own writing. I wonder where you have found a place to explore the paradoxical gifts of working from home, social distancing, slowdown, and transformation?
Are you, like me, needing more rest, more connection with heart-friends, and new tools for creating balance?
Lately, I’ve had the strange experience of reading a website or an inspirational book and being reminded that we’re supposed to rise above it all, move into happy gratitude, give our 150% and, by doing so, be the awesome we want to see in the world! (Sorry, Gandhi!) Especially in this recent crisis, this promise is so seductive, that if I rise above my challenges and name myself AWESOME or brilliant or successful or whatever, my life will become awesome again – that is, great, fabulous, full of celebration, full of the admiration and abundance that comes naturally to those who embrace their awesomeness!
It’s as if the self-help movement has taken on a pharmaceutical agenda in the current crisis – this marketing technique, that daily practice, this class, that next business step – is the magic pill that will put us in the Zone of Awesome – and there we’ll stay!
Since the Zone of Awesome is actually much more powerful and vast than the cheerleading “wow” that pop culture has assigned it, that might not be too bad, if we’re living there authentically. But too often, we hear the celebratory cry of living large, we fall right into the trap of pressure to perform our perkiest, most successful, grinning, enthusiastic selves, no matter how we’re feeling or what’s going on.
DON’T LET POP CULTURE STEAL YOUR REALNESS
A daily diet of “awesome = fabulous” is only empty calories. Sure, following this prescription, we can find some temporary enthusiasm and energy, like a sugar rush after eating a quart of chocolate ice cream. But the slump after the rush leaves us wanting more without realizing how depleted we’re becoming. This is especially true now, with uncertainty at a record high.
To make awesomeness sustainable, we need to put the “awe” back in, reclaiming the adjective “awesome” to embrace the fullness of our authentic experiences. According to the dictionary, awesome means “extremely impressive” but also “daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear.” It includes a full spectrum of authentic human experience, not just the exciting, admiring fabulousness of today’s slang. It includes a sense of awe.
Awe is “a feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder.” Other words for awe include amazement, astonishment, admiration, veneration, dread, terror, worship, honor, and love. In essence, awe connects us to each other through the common human experience of risk and discovery.
Without awe, awesome becomes an empty party, a gateway drug to burn-out. But add a sense of awe, and suddenly we get to take on the risk of becoming fully ourselves, awakening to our abilities to find energizing solutions to the problems in our lives and world. We celebrate in many ways, from genuine enthusiasm to quiet joy. We honor inspiring connections with the divine, with those we love and with our communities, making those celebrations meaningful. We create change from a grounding of authentic empowerment and discernment.
The problem is that “awesome = fabulous” is usually just a way of articulating aspirations, the dreams, and goals we hope will lift us into a better situation. These aspirations are essential, but empty unless they’re grounded in a foundation of self-knowledge, community, and a healthy living story.
In Storyweaving, I work with people’s “lived stories,” that is, the stories that consciously and unconsciously frame expectations, beliefs, interpretations, memories, and identities. These are our personal myths, and they manifest in every aspect of our experiences. I also support consciously choosing a healthy living story, that is, a deep understanding of your lived story that keeps you awake and resilient. These stories are part of the process of living, fueling the products of effort, (our goals) by grounding us in a vibrant core of self-discovery, self-respect, and self-awareness.
A sense of awe supports us in awakening to this core, helping us balance internally and externally as we evolve this healthy story and cope with crisis and change. The thing to remember is that our stories aren’t just lived inwardly – we negotiate them in the world as self-expression and growth. When our story is healthy, we ground and expand to sustain our energy. And we reach out to build a community that authentically supports us, acknowledging the gifts and challenges of the real-world present. Now that’s awesome.
Most of us aspire to improve ourselves, live our purpose fully, and manifest transformation in the world. And in our individualistic culture, most of us think we need to do it by being “awesome=fabulous,” that is, shining so brightly that we can’t help but achieve our goals. But the bottom line is that we never shine alone. Connection and hope energize us, and the pressure to perform exhausts us.
Have you ever had the experience of being in a conversation, and smiling and nodding outside, while feeling lost and despairing (and bored or confused) inside? That’s the pressure to perform, where we disconnect from our inner authenticity and try to be “awesome” in order to attract connection and hope. That’s the addictive and exhausting trap that, over time, tricks us into thinking our aspirations are the source of glory and power. But it’s awe (and the deep authenticity that goes along with it) that gives us the energy to be truly present and powerful.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t reach for the stars! I’m saying that if we want the stamina to get there, we need to inject a healthy sense of awe into the journey, acknowledging that exciting accomplishments are also daunting, and that fear and wonder are both our teachers. When we live an awe-some life -- evolving and learning, laughing and weeping, raging and dreaming, celebrating and mourning, grounding and expanding along the way -- we step up to the challenges of our times, and claim a purpose that is more than a performance.
AUTHENTIC EMPOWERMENT vs. ASPIRATION
Connection and hope energize us, and the pressure to perform exhausts us.
a feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear
...it’s awe that gives us the energy
to be truly present and powerful.
Carol Burbank is a writing mentor, editor, and writer, founder of the Storyweaving Retreat Center in Fort Washington, MD. For a free 30 minute introductory session, email email@example.com.
Our Cover Artist, Valerie Rich, is a Baltimore area creative Artist and Author. She began her journey and love of art in 2012 and says that “art soothes her soul.“
She loves working in mixed media and painting abstract art with acrylics. Her favorite thing to paint is faces and the eyes she paints speak volumes.
Her mission is to inspire people to be creative. She offers a monthly online visionary journal class, does Sip ‘n Paint parties and will develop workshops by request.
Find her work on Instagram and Facebook:
Contact her at Uniquelyval@gmail.com
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The Special Ingredient for Writing Success
by Kim Wells Eley
I was shocked to learn that 97% of people who start to write a book never finish it. When you do the math, that means out of 1000 people who start, only 30 complete their books.
As a writing coach, I know the special ingredient you need to start and keep writing. Surprisingly, I rarely hear other writers and coaches discussing this topic in relation to writing. But with it, writers can develop a solid foundation for their writing projects.
What do you think it might be?
A strong and engaging first sentence?
A well-developed outline?
A strategic plan identifying your ideal reader?
If you answered yes to one or more of these options, you are partially correct. All of these options are important, and we will discuss each of these later. However, they come after the first, somewhat surprising ingredient.
And that ingredient is confidence.
Why Haven't You Started?
Do you remember a time when you had to write something, and it made you feel uncomfortable? Maybe it was a school essay or a paper for work. Think about the reasons you felt uncomfortable.
Were you thinking about the importance of your message?
Were you caught up with thinking how much you felt like you wanted your words to make an impact?
Did you think about the stakes involved once you shared your writing with another person?
While you were writing, did you think about that teacher, boss, or coworker who would read your words later and judge them?
Writing is communication. When someone reads what you've written, they either get it, or they don't. The effectiveness of what you have written is immediate once it is read.
In the world of gymnastics, have you heard the term "stick the landing"? For gymnasts, "sticking" the landing means successfully completing a movement or pose and landing without moving your feet at the end. As writers, we can "stick" the landing in our writing, meaning successfully conveying our message in as few words as needed to be understood.
It is understandable that we would experience hesitation when we are writing. Our uncertainty lies in the draft when we want to express our thoughts to a reader, but we are not sure how our words will land.
How we express ourselves are representations of us, who we are, and who we want to be. We may long to be seen as a gymnast of words, someone whose command and craft of language dazzles our audience. Building up this sort of pressure on ourselves can cause a lot of needless anxiety, however.
Why Do You Want to Write?
I truly believe each of us is here on earth because we have a powerful message to share. We can express our message through our work, through our love and care for others, and through our unique gifts. And of course, we can share our message through our writing too.
When you are feeling unsure about your writing, think about why you want to write. Imagine another person reading your words.
What impact do you want them to have?
Do you want their heart to leap for joy?
Do you want them to stop partway through and exclaim, "Aha! I've got it now! It all makes sense!"
Do you want them to be so moved by the power of your words that they cease to live their lives the way they did and feel transformed?
You don't have to imagine. You can make these results happen.
You Are a Writer, and Your Words Have Power
How often have you started writing something, only to tell yourself, "I'm not a writer"? It's not pretty, but we do tend to have some crappy voices in our heads telling us garbage. We will think, "Well, I'm not very good at this." Or, "I just don't know how to say this." Without empowering your voice, you risk building your writing on anxiety, fear, and a wicked case of perfectionism.
Own your voice. First, I want you to say out loud, "I am a writer, and my words have power." What you say out loud is believed by your subconscious mind. So even if you might feel silly doing this, I want you to say these words out loud. When those lousy voices come back, bringing doubts, say the words out loud again: "I am a writer, and my words have power."
Build Onto Your Confidence Foundation
Now you are standing tall in your own words. You own your voice! Now what?
Your confident writer self can take the lead by using your tools in your writing tool belt.
We touched on a few of these earlier:
A strong and engaging first sentence
A well-developed outline
A strategic plan identifying your ideal reader
You've often heard that first impressions count when you meet someone for the first time. Think of your first sentence in your writing as your introduction to your reader. Here are some options for making the introduction:
Shake long-held beliefs by presenting them with a fact or idea they have never known.
Pull at their heartstrings by showing them something about which they should care deeply.
Challenge your readers by expressing the unfairness of a practice or situation.
I'll let you in on a secret. All of these tools for generating a memorable first sentence involve generating emotion. Your confidence as a writer is in knowing that you can generate a feeling or passion from your reader. Each time you write, remember that you have the power to stoke that fire in someone whom you may never meet face to face. It is your words that resonate with your reader. You own this power.
After your first engaging sentence, you will have your readers' attention. Next, it is time to "stick the landing" by ensuring your entire message is clear. You make sure your message is clear by using a well-developed outline.
Like a roadmap, a good outline shows you as the writer where to go with your writing essay. You've got the confidence at this point to take the reader where you want to go. With your outline, you will ensure you and your reader visit each point you want to make. That will be the evidence you need to "stick the landing" with your reader, ensuring their understanding.
Finally, you want a strategic plan to identify your ideal reader. Using different magazines as examples, I believe we can all agree that the ideal reader for Popular Mechanics may be quite different from the ideal reader of People magazine. Are you writing for gearheads or celebrity followers? Know who your reader is, and you'll find a way to talk with them.
Why Are You Waiting? Jump In and Write!
Once you own that you are a writer, then you will gain the confidence to continue writing no matter what. On days when you have something you've committed to write, say a standing blog post; you may hear those old voices that made you feel uncomfortable. Remember these steps:
Say out loud, "I am a writer, and my words have power!"
Hook them right from the start with a captivating first sentence.
Map out all of the ideas you will explore in your outline.
Know your reader and write in a way she will enjoy andrespond.
You have an incredible message to share! Get started, and write!
97% of people who start to write a book never finish it.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
Say out loud:
"I am a writer and
my words have power."
Kim Wells Eley is a speaker, author, & publisher. A cat lover and a collector of orchids, she gets all of her news from comedy channels. KWE Publishing (804) 536-1972 firstname.lastname@example.org www.kwepub.com
Check out Kim's other articles on writing in the last 3 issues of On Purpose Woman Magazine.
How Being Fully Present Helps Us Create a Better Future
by Lilia Shoshanna Rae
It may seem a little counterintuitive that thinking about the future gets in the way of creating what we want. Yet a consistent practice of bringing our awareness to the present moment can be a powerful tool for manifesting our wildest dreams. Goals, dreams, and visions have their place, but it is working with them from a place of being fully present that we succeed more often.
When we create from the present moment, we tap into the mythical “ocean of possibilities.” Deep in my heart, I know this to be so. I confess that knowing that - and living that - are two different things.
Even while writing this article, it has been difficult to stay present and not drop into worry about the future when so much is going on in the world and my life. Like most in the world, I grew up worrying about the future and regretting the past.
It has taken decades of recommitting to “BE HERE NOW” to recognize how important it is to create my life from this place, here and now.
Let me start with the knowing part. I have a coach that leads her clients into a space of being fully present, and from that place envisioning what they want to manifest in their lives. Getting to the place of presence in the present moment is a key part of the practice.
When I do that, I see shifts in my work. Prospective clients reach out to discuss having a session with me. Inspiration for blogs and messages on social media come to me. I find other creative ways to move forward so that I can share my gifts and be of service.
When I bring my awareness to the present moment, I access Spirit. That is how I connect with my angel team and their love and wisdom. That is how I receive my inspirations and guidance. When I hold my visions while staying present to myself, I see movement toward them in my outer life. All of this is central to my spiritual practices and my work as a spiritual mentor and angel connector.
A central part of my work is to help my clients be in the present moment during our sessions. I love doing this angel connection work because it requires being in that delicious present moment, embraced by loving angelic energy while opening up to their inspiration and guidance. It is magical and transformative.
In my personal life, I witness the value of being fully present through being with two of my grandchildren a few days a week. It has been one of the greatest blessings of this Covid-19 experience. My daughter needed help caring for her children as she was forced to work from home with no daycare. I volunteered to help watch them because I knew she needed me. Never in my wildest dreams did I know I would learn so much about being present – and seeing how often I’m not.
I’ve always loved being with my grandchildren. What is different about this experience is that having the role of watching them, and not just visiting them, requires me to be fully present with them – to give them the best of my time while I am there.
As I am present to them, attentive to what they need, I get to just see them as they are – sometimes whiny and fussy when they are not getting their way, but mostly being creative with their imagination in their own unique ways. My five-year-old granddaughter loves to try out new dance moves or figure out the next Lego creation, and nothing beats her new-found freedom of riding her bike without training wheels. My three-year-old grandson loves to get lost in his imagination as he makes up stories about how his Paw Patrol characters are saving the world. He also delights in riding his bicycle, not at all hindered by his training wheels as he pumps his little legs as fast as he can to go faster than his older sister, laughing as he passes her by.
My favorite moments are when I am just on the floor with them, and they are climbing all over me, laughing, hugging, and just playing. I look into their dark bright eyes and see only love. And I know this is what life is meant to be for all of us.
So why is it so difficult for us to live from this place of presence in the present moment? Creating life as it is meant to be for all of us?
As an entrepreneur learning how to be one after 30 years as a salaried employee, I’m constantly finding myself worrying about how I am going to get all my tasks done so that I can make progress. On top of that, I catch myself regretting how much time it has taken for me to attract clients on a consistent basis. That’s the see-saw pattern I’ve had most of my life - worrying and regretting – being in future or past. Neither is helping me create my visions and dreams.
What I’ve learned to do when I catch myself either in the future or the past, is first to take a breath. I go to my heart space, summon up some self-compassion, let go of whatever is in the way, and then begin again, in the now.
Here and now. It is a practice. I see the results when I succeed. I see the ruts when I don’t. And if none of that works, I go play with my grandchildren and remind myself to just be.
When I bring my awareness to the present moment,
I access Spirit.
Lilia Shoshanna Rae is the author of The Art of Listening to Angels. She teaches how to connect to your personal angel team to live a life on purpose. Lilia believes when we live on purpose, we bring Heaven on Earth, her personal mission, and “possible” dream. Check out her Facebook group Angel Connection Circle.
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Lilia Shoshanna Rae.Author of The Art of Listening to Angels, Reiki Master .firstname.lastname@example.org
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Love YOUniversity. CortneyAnne Budney. Guiding awakened coaches and healers to spiritually, strategically and collectively uplevel life, purpose and prosperity. www.LoveYOUniversity.net
Manifesting Clients Academy.Grow the business your heart longs for.Training and support with Kathryn Yarborough. www.ManifestingClientsAcademy.com
Maria Petrucci, DC.Craniosacral Therapy, Chiropractic, and Mind-Body Tools to alleviate pain and stress. www.nourishing-journey.com. 240-394-2037. email@example.com
Mended Digital.Amanda Schwarz.Website Design and Digital Marketing.Feel confident about putting yourself & your business online!
Music 4 More. Deidra Stevens. Non-profit that repairs and recycles musical instruments into music programs for schools and veterans.www.music4more.org
Nourishing Journey Café & Wellness Center.Jennifer Palmer.Healing Bodies ~ Opening Minds ~ Uniting Hearts.Columbia MD. www.nourishing-journey.com
On Purpose Woman Community Connections Over Coffee. Ginny Robertson. 8 monthly meetings in Maryland and one in Richmond VA. Online on Zoom until further notice. www.OnPurposeWomanCommunity.com
On Purpose Woman Magazine. Contact Ginny Robertson for advertising rates, writing for the magazine or being our cover artist. www.OnPurposeWomanMagazine.com
Open Heart Healing.Karen Tasto. Tune in & turn on to your fullest feminine expression. Coaching, Reiki, women’s circles. www.karentasto.com
Plexus Ambassador.Natalie Gallagher.Natural plant-based health and wellness supplements and skincare, balancing blood sugar, reducing inflammation and healing the gut. https://plexusworldwide.com/nataliegallagher
Positive Power Publishing.Stephanie Mensh.Helping people with stroke and disabilities and caregivers live full lives. firstname.lastname@example.org www.strokesurvivor.com
Problem Solved. Errands & Organizing. Deidra Stevens. We provide solutions to get your to-do list done! www.linkedin.com/in/deidrastevens/
Rebel Magic Books.Sue Fitzmaurice. A boutique publishing house offering experienced coaching, editing and publishing services for women with a story to tell. www.rebelmagicbooks.com
Renu 28.Sharona Futerman. Feel Better, Look Younger. Redox Signaling Repair & Protect aging cells www.Smyle.TeamAsea.com 301-455-4655
Soulful Business Coach Dawn Shuler - I work with women business owners to play bigger by focusing on systems. www.SmartBusinessFromYourSoul.com
Soul-utions Hypnosis. Beverly Hamilton CHt. Restoring health and vitality through Hypnosis, Reiki and Aromatherapy. FREE self-hypnosis recording: www.Soul-utionsHypnosis.com
Storyweaving Coaching. Compassionate, professional writing mentoring and services: coaching, manuscript evaluation, editing, publisher/agent proposals, research, ghost writing .email@example.com
Temple in the Woods. Claudette W. Gadsden. Bed & Breakfast off the beaten path. A Place to Nourish Your Soul www.TempleintheWoods.com
“The ABCs of Conscious Parenting: Bringing Ease and Joy into your Relationship with your Child.”By Jill Mann Pekofsky. A “tool-box” in a book! firstname.lastname@example.org Find it on Amazon.
The Organizer.Bonnie Blas Kashnow. Paper Management, Checkbook Balancing, Personal Assistant. email@example.com.
Trades of Hope.Michele Silva-Dockery. Empowers women across the globe out of extreme poverty. Beautiful handmade jewelry and home decor! www.mytradesofhope.com/MicheleSilvaDockery
Truly Living, LLC.Anne Margaret Coverdale.Writer & Wholeness Coach, utilizing guided journaling and the Intuitive Body Process. Join the Healing Writers Community! www.trulylivingllc.com
Virtually Nat -Digital Marketing Agency.Natalie Gallagher. Growing businesses through web design, web maintenance, SEO, and social media strategy. https://virtuallynat.com
Wise Words That Matter. Krista Giannak. Writing and PR, getting businesses and nonprofits noticed, uncovering untold stories. Blogs, bios, articles, webpages. (631) 505-4011
Your High Vibe Business by Brave Healer Productions.Laura Di Franco, MPT.A Business Building Community and Mastermind for Healers http://YourHighVibeBiz.com
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Listen to your anger.
Listen to your fear.
Listen to your sorrow.
Listen to your joy.
Listen to your hope.
Listen to your excitement.
Listen to your SHAME.
Listen, learn, and grow.
Your emotions are information. They are not something to control, suppress or overcome. They are there to be listened to and felt before they show up as illness, injury or internet fights with strangers.
Emotions are WISDOM. Even the yucky ones can guide us out of the dark.
Let’s take the emotion of shame. There’s useful shame and toxic shame. Useful shame is when you know you have done something against your core morals (or hurt someone else) and you feel bad. It can help you self-examine, learn and grow. You cheated on your spouse, lied to their face and now feel shame. Feeling shame means you know that you did something hurtful, immature, selfish, and thoughtless. You know that you are better than that behavior; therefore, you feel shame.
Toxic shame (not useful) is when you feel bad because society tells you there is something shameful about your body, age, weight, sexual orientation, class or status, education level, skin color, income, living situation, etc.
I’m ashamed of America right now. Deeply, painfully ashamed. And, I’m also proud of what I call New America Rising; the people who are taking a knee and taking to the streets.I use this shame to do my part, making it useful.
I’m not ashamed to be Caucasian. It’s my lineage and heritage. When my ancestors came here from Ireland seeking opportunity and work, many businesses had “Irish Need Not Apply” signs in their windows. The Irish were oppressed by the English and broke free. They were not welcomed here with open arms. But they weren’t brought here in chains. They weren’t lynched. Our culture wasn’t colonized like the existing indigenous cultures were. Feeling shame for being Caucasian would be toxic, since there is nothing I can do about my “whiteness.”
There are different kinds and levels of shame. And, there are different kinds and levels of privilege. We can all identify and use our privilege, platforms, voice, essence, and energy to benefit the most people we can, across gender and race divisions.
Deliberately. Consciously. Consistently.
Let’s assume we have areas of challenge and areas of privilege. If we’re willing to look at our personal shame, we can transform it into changed behavior and collective growth.
The Value of Shame
by Courtney Walsh
Useful shame is when you know you have done something against your core morals (or hurt someone else) and you feel bad.
Courtney A. Walsh or “CAW” is a published author.She is active on both Facebook and Instagram as Courtney A. Walsh.Her most recent book,Dear Human, was endorsed by Elizabeth Gilbert. Find it on Amazon. Click here.
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My Future is Going To Be Awesome
A Free 9-Day New Story Challenge with Kathryn Yarborough
July 24 - August 1
For solopreneurs who want to manifest the future that's calling to them.
Sign up: https://www.manifestingclientsacademy.com/awesomefuture/
Getting Out of Your Own Way – An Online Workshop with Ginny Robertson
Friday, July 24th or Saturday, August 1st. Choose the day that works for you.
9:30am – 1:00pm Eastern
Will 2020 will be the year you do it! (Whatever “it” is)
Pre-registration required. Pay at the end based on value received and ability to pay. See ad on page 43 or go here: https://conta.cc/2Nubjjf
More Online Events
On Purpose Woman Community
Connections Over Coffee
Though we usually meet in person in the locations listed, we're meeting ONLINE until Further Notice
Just For Women - FREE - while we meet online.
Meeting on Zoom. Since it’s online, all women are invited, no matter where you live.
10:30am – Noon Eastern / 7:30 – 9:00am Pacific
1stTuesday – Baltimore, MD
1stFriday – Richmond VA
2ndThursday – Rosedale MD
2ndFriday – Annapolis MD
3rdMonday – Lutherville MD
3rdThursday – Bethesda MD
Last Monday – Fort Washington MD
Last Tuesday – Frederick MD
Last Friday – Columbia MD
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org to get on the email list so you won’t miss out!
Connections Thru Conversation Online Gathering
On 1st Mondays and 3rd Wednesdays at 1-2pm Eastern / 10 – 11am Pacific
ALWAYS Online, on Zoom, just for Women, and FREE
July 6 and 15 Discussion Topic: Thriving in the 2nd Half of 2020
August 3 and 19 Discussion Topic: Is Influencing Others a Good Thing?
Register at http://onpurposewomancommunity.com/online/
Contact: Kathryn Yarborough at Kathryn@ManifestingClientsAcademy.com
Events To Attend
Mid-Atlantic Spiritual Science Academy – Year One Class Starts
September 9, 7:00 pm – 9:45 pm
Planet Soul Holistic Community. NW Baltimore (Pikesville), MD 21208
Ongoing, Weekly, Life-changing, Progressive Metaphysical School:
Esoteric Books * Healing * Transformation
Rev. Robin email@example.com (410) 581-9022
The Practice of
by Elaine Robinson Beattie
Today more than ever, we see diverse groups of people working together to affect change. However, working together takes work, intentional committed work. One of my favorite professors at Emory, Dr. Robert Franklin, stated,“moral leaders are women and men who act with integrity, imagination, and courage for the common good while inviting others to join them.” I believe that if we sincerely work together toward a common good, our work can result in a rich personal growth experience for each one of us. Consider the cost of acting with integrity and imagination with no limits. How different would the world be?
As one who is forever investing in my own personal growth and development, I have come to embrace the practice of looking at new situations, people, and culture through the lens of cultural humility and curiosity. In an article written by Julia Sufrin, she writes, “most people are familiar with the concept of being humble. To be humble is to demonstrate ‘humility,’ which is commonly defined as ‘freedom from pride or arrogance.’ What, then, might it mean to practice ‘cultural humility,’ a phrase often seen in areas related to mental health care and social advocacy?”
The National Institutes of Health (NIH) defines cultural humility as “a lifelong process of self-reflection and self-critique whereby the individual not only learns about another’s culture, but one starts with an examination of her/his own beliefs and cultural identities.” The term was first coined in 1998 by healthcare professionals Melanie Tervalon and Jann Murray-García, who initially described cultural humility as a tool to educate physicians to work with culturally, ethnically, and racially diverse populations in the United States. Ms. Sufrin went on to state that there were three things we needed to consider:
1.We move between several different cultures – often without even thinking about it.
As an African American woman, a senior, entrepreneur living in Atlanta married to a United Methodist Pastor, I move between different cultures sometimes on an hourly basis. My husband is also a blues musician. Cultural diversity, in its meaning, is broad and comprehensive. Let me clarify what I mean by cultural diversity. We have a detailed definition we use when teaching Cultural Intelligence. My business partner and I see cultural diversity as “differences in ethnic or racial classification and self-identification, tribal or clan affiliation, nationality, language, age, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, socio-economic status, education, religion, spirituality, physical and intellectual abilities, personal appearance, and other factors that distinguish one group or individual from another.”
Now, if you are like me, you may take some time to look at your relationships in terms of how you self-identify, your work, and family, your faith community, your communities. You would see how diverse your world is or is not. This type of self-evaluation is an excellent opportunity to do some self-reflection and to become more self -aware.
2.“Cultural humility is distinct from cultural competency and reflexivity.
Cultural competence is a set of congruent behaviors, attitudes, and policies that come together in a system, agency or among professionals and enable that system, agency or those professions to work effectively in cross-cultural situations. Reflexivity, on the other hand, calls on researchers to explore their own beliefs in order to be more aware of potential judgments that can occur during data collection and analysis. It is the research practice of placing oneself within the experience of the participant and then examining the participant-researcher relationship,” says Sufrin.
I found this practice to be most enlightening. Even though I teach on this topic, I, too, have to be mindfully aware of my judgments, prejudices, and biases that come up, particularly when I am in a new group of people who are unfamiliar or unlike me. We all have biases.
It is critical to be aware they are within us and train ourselves to pause, think again, and not react to the first thought about a person.
3.Cultural humility requires historical awareness.
It is essential to note that the history in our school textbooks was not wholly accurate. For instance, Christopher Columbus did not discover America.It would be more accurate, perhaps, to say that he introduced the Americas to Western Europe during his four voyages to the region between 1492 and 1502. It’s also safe to say that Columbus paved the way for the massive influx of western Europeans that would ultimately form several new nations, including the United States, Canada, and Mexico. But to say he “discovered” America is a bit of a misnomer because there were plenty of people already here when he arrived. So, I challenge you to explore the history you have been taught a bit closer to attain the real truth.
The opportunity for us is to be less judgmental, open, and gracious to one another. Remember, “moral leaders are women and men who act with integrity, imagination, and courage for the common good while inviting others to join them.” Would you consider adding this to your list of how you act, think, and live? I have, and my life is rich with diversity, challenging opportunities, and amazing, eye-opening experiences that have blessed my life.
I leave you with this final thought. John Wesley, Anglican clergyman, evangelist, and founder, with his brother Charles, of the Methodist movement as a way to set the stage for cultural humility to be practiced. “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”
"Moral leaders are women and men who act with integrity, imagination, and courage for the common good while inviting others to join them."
Dr. Robert Franklin
Elaine Robinson Beattie is a Speaker and Leadership Coach. She helps C-Suite Executives who believe in investing in personal growth to gain more self-awareness and gain better use of their time. This enables them to become a better leader and build effective teams aligned with their vision, values, and goals.
The Affirmation Board
Ginny Robertson Talks With
I met Christalene a few years ago at an On Purpose Woman Community gathering in Annapolis, MD. I found her enchanting, funny, and wise. She is a Visionary Intuitive, Medium, Australian Artist, Mum, Wife, Entrepreneur, and founder of the Affirmation Board Cape St Claire. I love what she does with the Affirmation Board and want to share her with all of you.
Why did you start The Affirmation Board?
It all started when I was reversing out of my driveway and was nearly hit by a driver who DID not stop at the stop sign and nearly rammed into me with my children, my friend's children and my friend Robyn in the car. Mumma bear came out, and there was an altercation in the middle of the road with this ignorant driver. This had been a problem for the last few years. Every time I wanted to reverse out of my driveway or drive into it coming home, I would get stressed and concerned that a car would be flying around the corner and not stop.
I really wanted to put a stop to this, and I had to make a choice: I could wake up and be pi**ed off every day before I even got out of my driveway, or I could do something about it. I asked for a sign. From God, My Spirit Guides, Angels, a higher power (whoever you believe in).
The next day I received my message clear as day that I needed to solve the problem by using affirmations. I was to get my little board that I already had from Ikea and write something positive on it. I had no idea where this would lead or what would happen. The next day I woke up early, still in my pj's, to put the blackboard under the stop sign early before traffic started driving our busy corner. It has been over 4-1/2 years now, and the majority of people are now stopping at the stop sign. I usually have no trouble with reversing and worrying about the safety of my family, and I am no longer as angry or have as much anxiety. The people who actually stop and take a second to read it may end up feeling inspired and motivated for the day.
How do you decide what to write each day?
I pay attention to where I am in my life now. Then I will find an affirmation that relates. I write some that I remember from my childhood. When I was younger, my father used affirmations with my brother and me. If we had a question or something significant happened in our life, he would refer to a quote or Greek fable and incorporate that into what was going on in our lives. I try and write an Affirmation daily. Sometimes, if I like the quote a lot, I'll leave it on for a few days.
Are your children involved?
My children will sometimes get the board for me in the morning, clean it and put it back, It has become part of what they do to give back to the community. I want my children, 7 and 10, to understand how important it is to support the community and that it takes a village.
What inspires you to keep doing it?
Peoples responses. I really had no idea the impact the Affirmation Board would have on the community and around the world. We also have a Facebook page, The Affirmation Board- Cape St Claire. We have followers from South Africa, Australia, and Europe. It's been life-changing in more ways than one.
How have people been inspired by the Board?
There have been so many stories over the years that have truly made me cry. The one that stands out the most is one day, a man called John was walking by and stopped in front of the board. He was crying. I went outside and asked him if he was ok. He responded that the affirmation for the day really touched his soul. He was going through a divorce, and it really resonated with him. The quote for the day was, "It's just a bad day, not a bad life."
Another woman was extremely anxious to drive over the Bay Bridge. She had her kids in the car was trying to build up the courage as she was on her way to Ocean City. She drove by my house and saw the Affirmation for the day. It read, "You can do hard things". She called me and told me how that was all she needed to see to conquer her fear that day.
Do people ever leave things for you?
Someone put a solar light in the front of The Affirmation Board, so when people drive by at night, they can still read it.People have left flowers and cards on my porch. A woman was gracious enough to leave a massive binder filled with quotes. I was grateful because, after 4-1/2 years, it sometimes gets hard, and I can use some inspiration.
Some people have never driven by The Affirmation Board, yet follow us on Facebook. When they happen to be in Cape St Claire, they will make a point of stopping and asking if they can write the sign for the day or take a photo standing next to it.
I am proud to say that we have never had anyone damage or mistreat the board. I live near two schools and the students and families walking by respect it and look after it.
What is your wish?
My wish is for people to leave feeling better than they did. No matter what is going on in their life, I want them to feel inspired, happy, and hopeful.
How has this changed you?
By giving back to the community and serving others with kindness, I discovered my life's purpose.
I now have a brand based on the Affirmation Board that includes coloring books, positive affirmation stickers, self-care cards, and lunch box cards for children. I do motivational talks incorporating positivity and affirmations at schools, hospitals, and other organizations that are open to inspiring their staff, students, or friends.
Affirmations can be such an amazing way to change your thought process, no matter what age, gender, or race. We all can become the change…one person at a time.
Find out more:
Facebook: Christalene-Visionary intuitive
Instagram is Crystalooneys
How the Affirmation Board Got Started Trailer YouTube Video
"Little Piece of Magic" Documentary
The Affirmation Board
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