On Purpose Woman
A Force for Good
On Purpose Woman
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Letter from the Publisher
Happy Almost Fall Everyone! Although it’s been many decades since I’ve been in school, I still experience back to school excitement around Labor Day. For me, it’s a time for reflection, re-evaluation and planning. I’ll be out this weekend buying some new pens and journals and look forward to filling them up with all of my ideas and plans.
If you wonder where we’ve been, we took a break in July and then made the decision to start publishing bi-monthly. So you’ll hear from us every other month going forward.
Check out the articles we have for you in this issue. They run the gamut from inspirational to educational and many inspire and educate! I’m grateful to our writers for sharing their expertise, wisdom, and heart with all of you. If an article speaks to you, please reach out and let them know.
I’m also grateful to our advertisers. They are why you get the magazine for free. If you need a product or service, check them out. And, if you have a product or service that you want to present to a broader audience, click here to check out our advertising rates. With our new bi-monthly schedule you pay for one month, but the magazine is available, and we’ll be promoting it and your ad, for two months.
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Check out how you can participate in the On Purpose Woman Community at www.OnPurposeWomanCommunity.com. There are in-person events around Maryland and in Richmond VA and online events four times a month. And be sure to join our Facebook group where you can connect, learn, grow and promote: Click here.
4 Letter from the Publisher Ginny Robertson
8 Disconnection is Dangerous Cindy Wigglesworth
15 Fresh Promise
18 From Self-Improving to Self-Remembering
26 Ever see a fish doing push-ups?
30 Weather the Storm
38 What You Can Do Locally to Address Climate Change /Chaos
Beverly Ausmus, Ramsey, PhD
46 Harvesting the Light in the Darkness: Ground Yourself in Your Kuleana, Your Purpose Carol Burbank
54 My Story
Linnea Tober (Cover artist)
58 Divine Feminine Leading the Way
62 Business Directory
68 The #1 lesson I learned on a TEDx stage
72 How to Take the Brakes Off Your Business
80 Simple Ways You Can Direct and Effect Your Life
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Inside On Purpose Woman...
I am pondering the poison of white "aristocracy" in the US after watching two documentaries. I watched Jane Fonda in the "Jane Fonda in Five Acts" documentary yesterday, and I watched "Nothing Left Unsaid: Gloria Vanderbilt and Anderson Cooper" tonight. Both were very well done and I recommend them. And while there is much positive to be said about the vulnerability of Jane, Gloria and Anderson in sharing their stories - warts and all - including deep regrets - that is not what I am contemplating.
What has struck me is the emotional tone. In a sense it's a flattened emotionality - typical of WASPs in general, but especially in the upper class - so repressed. Stiff upper lip...but American style. Beauty and splash. Paparazzi and stardom and wealth - but all empty. The pretense of perfection. The hollowness more dramatic by contrast.
The dysfunctional American home life Jane and Gloria both endured as children warped these two women so much. They had "everything" - (especially Gloria Vanderbilt of the ultrarich Vanderbilts) except for the deep connections of love that they needed. Their irreplaceable relationships with parents were broken. And that broke them.
They became lonely, insecure women, and eventually used their marriages to several men each to help them "be someone" since they weren't sure who they were. Each woman figures a lot out along the way. Each struggled to mother their own children because they had no role model of warm parenting. And there remains this aloofness about each of them. It is like even with the hard work they've both done on themselves, they are only partially embodied. Some part of these women was irreparably damaged as children by their privileged but cold, disconnected upbringings.
I was thinking about this and opened Facebook. Then I read again - as I do every day - about the horrors of children being held in camps at the US southern border separated from their parents and I see the same story on steroids...emotional pain, but without the facade of happiness created by wealth. No nannies, no private schools, no jets - just misery and trauma and suffering. Painful disconnections instead of healthy attachments.
As damaged as these two wealthy white women were...how damaged will those poor brown children be?
And I look at the stories of the opioid epidemic. Same story. Pain and hopelessness leading to drugs and disconnection.
And I look at the pain of centuries of racism in this country. And the treatment of Native Americans. It is the same story. Deliberate disconnection instead of connection.
I consider the pain of rigid gender roles destroying men who must be "masculine" and women who must "know their place"; women who are called "hosts" for the babies that men seed in their bellies but won't support. And I feel this visceral disgust.
There is the pain of religious righteousness. We are all going to hell in someone else's story. Especially those who don't conform to gender norms, or heterosexual norms, or _____ or ____ or _____
We are all going to hell based on someone's religion.
Actually I think we are in hell right now.
It is the same story...told again and again and again.
Different details. Different disconnections. Same pain.
What drives us to keep this horror story going? Some deeply held mistaken beliefs? Some genetic failure in our species?
There is a deep lesson seeking to be learned. How many centuries or millennia will it take us to learn it? Money can't replace what we need. Nor can fame or any form of power or success replace it. Nor can gloating that your skin is white, or your chromosomes XY instead of XX. You and I are not saved by any of that.
Disconnection is destructive.
Disconnection kills off parts of us that matter.
Then hurt people go on to hurt more people.
Only genuine connection - only Love - can fix what is broken in our species and our cultures and our families. Only Love.
And Love requires connection.
We must see each other.
We must touch each other…
to hold hands, or hug, or help.
And that triggers so much fear that it seems we would rather die in misery than overcome the fears and cry the tears of sorrow together that might lead us to healing. We would rather stay blind to the pain we inflict, and the pain we endure.
Spirit is up to something with us.
Evolution is not done with us.
But dang this is so hard to watch and be a part of.
Somehow we must stand in this hell and act for heaven. And that's the task we cannot turn from.
That's where my heart is tonight.
I trust that God will help me to just keep taking the next step forward; to do what is mine to do right now. I will love my own irreplaceable people: my family and my friends. For those people my absence is irreplaceable – as their absence would be to me. I will keep healthy boundaries and honor those connections. And I recommit to reaching beyond racism and sexism and other “isms” and fears. I commit to help weave new friendships, a new neighborhood, a new town, a new country, a new world.
I pray that you and millions of others will do the same so that the tide turns and we learn and grow up as a species. Together we can, and must, heal this disconnected, fear-filled world.
In our Essence we are already Love.
We can embody Love in this dimension. And so it is. Amen.
Disconnection is Dangerous
By Cindy Wigglesworth
The roadmap to nobility: Cindy Wigglesworth
Cindy Wigglesworth, MA is the bestselling author of SQ21: The Twenty-One Skills of Spiritual Intelligence (SelectBooks, 2012), a book that won a Hoffer Award for best spiritual book of 2013. Her SQ21 spiritual intelligence self-assessment has created a validated and diversity-appropriate way of having spiritual conversations in the workplace. Cindy founded her business, now called Deep Change, in 2000. She teaches leadership development and focuses on the multiple intelligences required for success in our personal and professional lives. Cindy has appeared on a number of TV and radio shows, including Oprah and PBS. Check out her TEDx talk on Spiritual Intelligence on page 13.
wafts through my door
silent before it teases my nose,
bringing fresh promise.
“Who will you be today?
“What will you choose to feel?”
“How will you love out loud?
She reminds me.
I finally fully inhale
and let the cool molecules of awareness
dance in my lungs
wash out my doubts
and wiggle their way into my fingers
while the poem
of my life
and I move aside in awe.
How does fresh promise feel to you?
Laura’s ready to help you change the world with your words. Find her at www.BraveHealer.com
by Laura Di Franco
From Self-Improving to Self-Remembering
by Karen Tasto
What if the path to lasting transformation and joy was not through self-improvement but rather self-remembrance? Doesn’t that sound more enticing?
This journey of life is ultimately about remembering… remembering who you were before life shut off your voice, fiddled with your gifts and passions, diminished your power, and dimmed your light.
It has nothing to do with becoming someone new, as culture and media have led us to believe.
I used to believe that it was necessary for me to become someone I’ve never been before to find any happiness or peace. If I could just be more this or that I would be happier, whatever the latest craze was at the time. It was like I was seeking a new me, someone who wasn’t there before.
Hasn’t the whole self-improvement movement been about becoming someone new and improved? That’s the idea I had bought into, and many of you did as well.
The process of forgetting begins in childhood and over and over, experience after experience, you forget a little more of your true nature. That’s just the way it’s meant to be, as painful and challenging as it can be.
You came into this world only knowing how to be one thing – YOURSELF.
Then cultural and familial conditioning slowly took hold and bit by bit you changed into someone others expected you to be, losing your original self. I became the perfect, good girl.
Who did you become?
Your journey then is to uncover You, removing all the veils, chains and locks that have kept you out of relationship with your true self and out of your joy.
A practice I’ve been guided towards on this remembering journey is to return to the activities that I enjoyed as a child before I decided that I was too grown up to engage in such “nonsense.” I’ve returned to meandering under the trees whose branches I loved to climb and play house under for hours, lost to time. I swing. I cartwheel. I twirl. I dance every chance I get. I loved to dance as a child. Not the ballet recital kind of dance that was important to my parents but instead just letting loose in the living room kind of dance, leaping and twirling until my sister and I collapsed in giggly exhaustion. I also take long soaks in the bathtub like I loved as a child.
Some of these may sound silly. To me, these playful activities are my most important form of self-care, of self-love. They return me to my essential nature. They open my creative flow. They help me remember what life is really all about…joy, pleasure, love.
What did you love to do so much as a child that you lost track of time?
By re-engaging in my lost loves of dance and being amongst the trees, I remember and reunite with my original qualities. I remember my playfulness, my rebelliousness, and free-spirit, my creativity and intuition.
You see, the idea as a purpose-driven woman is to remember the parts of you that were lost in a grown-up, patriarchal land.
This is the land where daydreaming was frowned upon. Where the end result was praised more than the process itself, and where left-brain activities such as math, research papers, and spelling bees were emphasized much more than right brain activities such as art, pretend play, movement, and creative writing.
So now I am in a process of unraveling and undoing. I am ultimately remembering.
What are you being called to remember right now?
Your intuitive self?
Your feisty side?
Your wise self?
Your playful, fun-loving self?
Your rebellious self?
I’m finding remnants of myself that are deeply familiar but so covered in cobwebs, dust and grime caused by years of shame and “not good enough” thinking, that they have to be coaxed out gently and compassionately.
I’m discovering parts of me that I never knew were there — the part of me that can sit and daydream or listen to the same song over and over, lost in the melody and words or be so enchanted by the aliveness of my skin.
I find myself flaming with rage and bowed down in grief for losing these parts of me for so long.
As I type words to the screen, I’m aware of my shoulders tightening, my throat locking up and I remember once again how I used to write as a child, for the pure joy of it. I put aside the editor self and drop into my safe space, letting the words pour forth like an open faucet.
Step by step, risk after risk something in me unravels, comes undone. Piece by piece, word by word, I am set free.
All I have to do is remember.
It’s time for you to stop trying to become someone you are not. Plus, self-remembering is way more fun than self-improving.
Photos and videos are not needed for this kind of remembering…just a willingness to follow those nudges, explore, and be open.
Re-engaging in our lost loves of childhood is a powerful way to remember our true nature and summer is a perfect time to do it.
So, once you’re done reading this magazine, put down your device and get up and play!
Karen’s powerful spiritually-based coaching will ignite your inner goddess, release your good girl and guide you to living the life you crave. Grab your free guidebook at www.karentasto.com
Ever see a fish doing push-ups?
by Sylvia Henderson
I heard a saying that “transformation without action is like a fish doing push-ups”.
So if there’s no such thing as a fish doing push-ups, then there’s little chance that transformation – whether your business, career, or life – will happen without your taking action.
Snapping your fingers, or imagining “it” to be, or “just putting it out there and expecting it to happen” also doesn’t work without taking action.
Show me an entrepreneur who says, “It didn’t work” for her or him, and I’ll hold up a mirror to them to show you an entrepreneur who didn’t work hard enough for her or his business.
So, let me give you three fast-action steps you can act on to move your ideas closer to income-generating potential.
1) Resolve to yourself – right now – that it takes work to bring your ideas to fruition.
I mean, real work! It takes time, energy, and financial investment of some degree. So many people who engage coaches, mentors, guides, or consultants reach points where “it takes too long”, or “turns out to be too hard”, and they stop long before they turn their ideas to reality. While the work goes well beyond today, you can resolve to yourself – deep down inside – that you WILL do the work that it takes to achieve what you want to achieve. I want that for you!
2) Identify the first person whom you will turn to for help.
You’ll turn to more as you move along your journey. But for right now, a few minutes from now, start going through your connections and evaluate your relationships to identify the first expert who can help you transform your ideas to action. That’s right…stop and ask for directions instead of taking the wrong turn.
3) From all the ideas you have, PICK ONE IDEA AND FOCUS all your resources on that one until you reach one of two conclusions over time…that the idea is a success and you’ve achieved your expected results, or the idea is no longer valid for you or your organization at the time and with your existing strategy or market trends. One and done – with either result – gets you farther long-term than when you spread yourself thin with too many, and unfocused, ideas.
Take fast action with these three steps and you’ll never look back for that fish doing pushups!
Let me help you take action on your ideas – whether fast or steady – with specific steps that move you forward towards your goals. It takes specific and strategic action on a steady basis to realize progress and get to where you SAY you want to be.
BONUS: Watch the video message for “Bring Ideas To Fruition - Here's How To Make Your Ideas Happen!”
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Sylvia Henderson is known as the Idea Implementation Expert. She is the creator of Idea MindTeam™ group programs for entrepreneurs and organizations to move ideas to action. Connect at SylviaHenderson.com.
I’ve spent the past year sharing my un-filtered emotions and challenges in real-time through my blog, Living Un-Edited. In dropping my mask, in sharing my true emotions and giving myself permission to share whatever my current experiences are, even when not “socially appropriate,” this is when I get the strongest responses. I’ve received comments thanking me for being honest, and comments from readers letting me know that not only do they relate, but that they could have written the same things in their journals. In these comments, others have let me know that my sharing has allowed them to feel less alone – which was my desire in starting my blog.
Recently, I shared in a post that I had a difficult time getting myself to sit down and write. I’d been experiencing waves of sadness that seemingly weren’t connected to a specific cause or trigger. I kept finding myself in a feeling of overwhelming sadness that I couldn’t explain.
That’s how I found myself when I sat and tried to write, suddenly sad for no observable reason. In my life, I rely heavily on observation and understanding. I’ve always been academically oriented and have thrived in intellectual pursuits. But in this situation, I couldn’t rely on my intellect to get me through. Logically I know that sadness won’t hurt me, that it’s ok to feel it. But logic didn’t apply to what I was feeling – I couldn’t reason myself out of the feeling of sadness. I couldn’t change it or make it go away.
When I find myself in this sadness, I practice the process of sitting with myself through these difficult emotions. I have been learning to weather the storm, no matter what comes up, and I’m building the necessary strength step by step.
Which is why I sat down to write, even when it felt like the hardest thing to do. It was exactly what I needed in that moment. In taking a few minutes to put pen to paper and express what was going on inside, I was better able to sit with my emotions, and ultimately to learn from the experience and allow it to run its course.
I’m so grateful that whenever I feel stuck, I can always sit down with my journal to let it flow out through my pen and onto the page. From there, I can find my flow again and move on to the next emotion that is waiting for me. It is through the creative process, starting with writing long-hand and ending with sharing my post online, that I’m able to move through whatever emotional storm I find myself in that day. In giving myself permission to feel exactly what I’m feeling in that moment, no matter what it is, it loosens the emotional hold on me, and I find myself naturally moving on to whatever is next.
Over the past year, the times when I’ve been stuck in difficult emotions, I’ve turned to my journal to find myself again, to fuel myself from the very place of being the most stuck. Not only do I find myself again, but I find a more expanded, stronger version of myself than I realize I ever would have found had I not gone through the painful emotions and the process of being with them.
Sharing these innermost feelings is a vulnerable experience for me. Growing up, I was a shy child, and it’s taken determination for me to keep sharing when things are difficult emotionally. And yet it’s often the very thing that not only I, but also my readers, need. In sharing this story of sadness and the accompanying poem on my blog, I received the most responses, and the greatest outpouring of community and connection from others letting me know they felt less alone.
This journey has inspired me to keep sharing the things I may otherwise keep to myself because these are the stories that we most need to hear, and most need to share right now. I feel honored and excited to continue to share through my writing because as I do, I’m inviting my readers to befriend these difficult emotions so that through the process they too can find expanded versions of themselves.
Weather the Storm
By Julia Coplan
Julia Coplan, an intuitive artist, uses dance, photography and writing to move through the extreme isolation of mental turmoil by connecting with her body, inner guidance and higher consciousness to befriend the difficult emotions and remember that we are never truly alone. As a guide with Love YOUniversity ™, she guides healers, coaches and artists in becoming irresistible to love, money, purpose and joy through awakening firstname.lastname@example.org www.LoveYOUniversity.net.
Weather the Storm
By Julia Coplan
Waves of sadness
crash over me suddenly,
seemingly out of nowhere.
They take me by surprise
and I go under,
The mystery sadness
is there in a moment,
when just before
things were normal,
Where did it come from?
My throat tightens
and the tears come.
I can’t connect the dots.
There is no discernible logic
behind their origin.
I want to understand,
Understanding is my safety zone.
I can rely on my intellect,
trust that it will be there
at a moment’s notice.
But intellect doesn’t help
with this feeling.
I can’t explain it away.
All I can do is weather the storm.
How long will this last?
When will I see the bright sky again?
When will the clouds break
and allow the sun to peak through?
I don’t know and that scares me.
I reach out my hands
to these scared voices within.
You are not alone.
We are here together,
No matter the storm,
or scary it may seem,
we can weather it,
We will come out the other side,
By Beverly Ausmus, Ramsey, PhD
What You Can Do Locally to Address Climate Change/
“The violence that exists in the human heart is also manifest in the symptoms of illness that we see in the Earth, the water, in the air and in living things.”
Pope Francis, 6/15/15
Changes through time and across the planet are inevitable, and global climate change is not new. Climate has shifted periodically throughout earth’s history. In my graduate studies in the late 60s/early 70s, our senior scientists were observing the increasing rate of high temperatures, floods, and wildfires. Even then we knew the arctic ice was beginning to melt at higher rates that it was freezing. However, changes are coming faster and are more and more unpredictable.
Potential bad outcomes have been known for 50 years among ecologists and meteorologists.
These outcomes include:
(See Schoonover, 2019, Testimony to the Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, U.S. House of Representatives).
• Direct impacts on human health, plants, animals and natural resources on land in the oceans
• Increased species extinction and geographic redistribution of species
• Disruption of supply chains, including food, natural resources
• Decreased integrity of infrastructures such as water treatment systems and power systems
• Damage to facilities and loss of land to rising sea levels
• Reduced access and quality of surface and groundwaters
• Changing pattern of diseases affecting humans, plants, and animals
• Decreased crop yields even using sustainability measures
• Declining human productivity, especially as populations, continue to increase in areas disrupted due to sea level increase and increased extreme events like wildfire or flooding.
In the U.S., we’ve put time and effort into planning how we “adapt” to climate change. But how do you adapt to unpredictable changes?
How do those of us not in government policy or in science and technology contribute?
There are two main ways:
- Improve your readiness for the unexpected.
- Take local action which can contribute to the solution rather than the problem.
“The time is past when humankind thought it could selfishly draw on exhaustible resources. We know now the world is not a commodity.” Francois Hollande, President of the French Republic, World Economic Forum, Davos, 2015.
Improve Your Readiness For the Unexpected
Look around where you live. Are you in a wildfire risk area? If so, are you on a ridge or on or below a slope? Your planning is affected by the answers. Often following wildfires, ridges will revegetate best, even if the fire was extraordinarily hot creating hydrophobic (non-water absorptive) soils. The slopes will become less stable, and mudslides often follow the next rains. Do you want to make any changes in where you live?
Are you near a major river? Are there levees, or earthen dams? The number of major rains and subsequent floods may increase and even 500- year frequency floods have been happening in the southern U.S. at an incredible rate. Do you want to make any changes in where you live with respect to rivers? Or, are you near the shore in areas where sea level is rising?
How reliable is your power? Have you had outages and have those changed through time? Do you need to consider investing in a local renewable power source? Do you want to be off the grid or do you just need a small backup generator for refrigeration? Do you have a wood burning stove? Can you use the stove without power?
Do you have a reliable source of water? Do you have a backup or stored water if your transportation or your routes are blocked? Do you have a method to clean up water? The easiest way is, of course, boiling the water. You can store water filters to remove sediment or contaminants. A good source of information is any camping supply catalog.
What about food? Dried beans, canned goods, freeze dried fruits are easy to stockpile. Make sure you have a manual can opener. Consider getting a camp stove and fuel.
There are other issues you will want to think through “what if” to assure that you are prepared for the unexpected. How do you maintain good hygiene? How much of your essential medicines do you have for emergency conditions and potential needs to relocate? Be ready for the unexpected.
Take Local Action
In addition to using bicycles and low emission cars, moving towards renewable energy, and other more costly investments, there are simple ways to make a difference.
Plant trees, especially evergreens. This increases photosynthesis.
Decrease soil disturbance. Soil accumulates carbon if not tilled
Capture water from rain and snow. Filter to remove large particulates and store covered.
Make some of your food. Plant and support apple trees (See March 2019 Issue of On Purpose Woman). Gather dandelions (See May 2019 Issue of On Purpose Woman). Grow greens, sprouts, and herbs indoors.
There are many challenges to humans attempting to survive and thrive in the face of climate chaos. For more information, I suggest you start with: The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) of the United Nations body for assessing the science related to climate change https://www.ipcc.ch/.
Beverly Ramsey, PhD, recently retired from 50 years of scientific research. She remains a professor in Environmental Sciences at APUS. She is sharing with us what she has learned from her traditional Native American rearing and her scientific research. DrBeverlyARamsey@gmail.com or email@example.com
I write this at 2:30 in the morning. Have you also faced long, wakeful hours, asking yourself What is mine to do?
It happens to most of us, whatever our leadership calling. Is it worry, or passion, or inspiration that drives us from our beds when the veil is thin between the sacred and the ordinary? Moths batter the windows where we sit, pretending to read. What is mine to do?
There is a space between vision and action that seems to demand this lonely vigil, when the difficult bridge to clarity must be built from scratch. Our daytime work connects us with followers, brings us to necessary compromises, teaches us new ways to persuade and negotiate. But the work of the night requires a different kind of courage.
It is a time of waking dream, ideas and struggles from a place wide awake but half asleep. We may be restless because of doubts and fears, circumstances beyond our control, puzzles that turn into frustrating mental hamster wheels, conversations that haunt us. But these long nights are also fertile times, if we let them lead us to a deeper communion with the wisdom from the core of our being. Whether we call that God, our soul, or the creative force, it vibrates in the deep quiet.
If we can resist turning on the TV, this gentle inner light shines more and more clearly as we ask What is mine to do? This is a more powerful question than What must I do? and a more challenging question than What do I want to do?
I learned this question at Unity, and it’s so simple, such a healing one for sleepless nights or worried minds! The answer that comes is naturally built on self-knowledge and humility without shame, built on an honest sense of our gifts and strengths as well as our flaws. In the darkness and the quiet, this awareness is the spark that brings insight.
This spark is the blessing of sleepless nights. It leads us back to our true calling, and gives us our next best step. And that takes us into a better relationship with ourselves and the world. With so much happening now, we all could use a spark that sets us on the right path, and brings us to an understanding of what Hawaiians call our kuleane.
This important principle is deeply committed to integrity in aloha practice, love with purpose, humility, honesty, and resilience. We each have a kuleana, a calling, simultaneously a responsibility and a gift. Whatever decisions we’re making (or avoiding!) from the core of our being, our kuleana will guide the answers that bring insights into actions.
Here are three ways I help my clients (and myself) root into the kuleana, the purpose, so we can all get back to sleep and wake with new insights:
1. PUT DOWN THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. This is both a literal and imaginative exercise. You know the thoughts that rise up and tell you “I’m not good enough.” or “I did that (or everything?) wrong!” These are not truths, they’re worries and fears, stories stuck in your neural system. You must put them down – imagine they are little stones and you’re walking on a pebbly road. Toss the thought, that stone in your shoe, behind you, and don’t even try to find it again – it’s lost, gone. Do this as many times as you need, and you’ll find that thought loses its power over time, and comes up less and less, because you just throw it away whenever it comes up. It may take a week, it may take a month, it may take a day, depending on how old the thought is. Persist! In the middle of the night, you may toss away quite a few of these – but the more you do, the faster you’ll have clarity and rest.
2. Remind yourself of your calling, as you know it now. Breathe it in deeply, and relax with the thought of that gift, that hope for service and creativity, that fuels your most satisfying work and relationships. Remember yourself, and your distractions will fade.
3. Ask again, What is mine to do? Native Hawaiian traditions remind us that when we decide to act, it is best that we do what is ours. Whether we share from our strengths, or get in the way by sharing co-dependent, impulsive decisions that bring us out of alignment with our kuleane, we are responsible for supporting and fixing the results. Any next step should grow out of our kuleane, so that all our resources move with grace in the world.
Always remember, even though you can’t do everything, you can do something! Honor your calling, let go of those old stories and fears that distract you, and if you have a sleepless night, know you’re not alone. Take a deep dive into that darkness with the confidence that your spark will lead you through, and the light is never far away.
Ground Yourself in
by Carol Burbank
What is mine to do?
Carol Burbank has studied traditional Hawaiian healing for 20 years in a lineage from the Big Island and Maui. She is a creative coach/mentor, writer, teacher, editor, and lifelong seeker, living in Fort Washington, MD. In 2018, she founded the Storyweaving Retreat Center, an intimate space for workshops, gatherings, and community. She will lead a new On Purpose Woman group there, starting October 28, and then the last Monday of every month. This article is an expansion of one of her monthly Science of Mind Magazine leadership and spirituality columns. You can find out more about her and the Center at her website. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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Ginny Robertson Writes:
Thank you to our Cover Artist, Linnea Tober, for the use of her piece “NAMASTE: The Light In Me.” She has created the NAMASTE series to be shown in and sold from local yoga and healing venues. If you have a healing space and want to speak with Linnea about showing her work, contact her at: 732-500-8629 or Linnea27@msn.com
Check out/purchase her art here:
by Linnea Tober
I was born and raised in Monmouth Beach, NJ and now live in Havre de Grace, MD. As a professional artist, I have exhibited and sold nationally and internationally for 15 years. I received my AA in desktop publishing/graphic design from Brookdale Community College, my BA in Art History, with a minor in painting, from Kean University, and my MAT in Art Education from Monmouth University.
My art has always been about healing, I am a practicing yogi and reiki practitioner, and have begun focusing more on yoga-related subjects, which are near and dear to my heart.
My newest works are my “NAMASTE” series. I created the series to be shown in and sold from local yoga and healing venues. I am always looking for healing spaces to show my work.
I am a colorist at heart and thrive when playing with color in my abstract works. My photography work focuses mainly on nature and the intricate textures, shapes, and shadows she creates on her own. I shoot those images, always thinking of what they can become; I am a painter with a camera. I then twist and tweak to make my nature photographic abstractions. Sometimes you can see the original image and sometimes not; it depends on where the muse takes me.
I believe the true photographer moves to get the shot. They do not wait for the shot to happen; they make it happen. I think of this medium as working with Mother Nature, rather than against her. As a healer, working with plant energy and color energy, I infuse reiki energy into all of my designs.
More than anything, I love giving back to my community and helping others through my art. I’ve helped raise money for causes I care about like animal welfare, homelessness, women in poverty, and charities providing awareness of auto-immune diseases and cancer. Please reach out if you have an event and need auction items.
My dream is to open a non-profit art gallery where a different charity each month will benefit from a portion of my art sales.
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Divine Feminine Leading the Way
By Sue Fitzmaurice
I’ve been in business in some form or another for 30 years, running my own businesses and others’; organisations large and small. My heart and soul have led me, and helped me lead, in different ways; and the spiritual – what it is, what it means, and how it plays out in my life – has been a central and ever-changing theme. Most recently, that has come via an exploration of the divine feminine.
What is the divine feminine?
For a start, it’s nothing new. It’s been with us always, in both men and women. What is new is the increase in attention that it’s receiving, the consideration being given to all its forms and expressions, the impact it has on us, and the ways we can connect with it.
The Divine Feminine – also known as the Sacred Feminine – is the source of those qualities we might generally associate with motherhood: compassion, forgiveness, kindness, understanding, nurturing, intuition, healing, empathy, patience, and above all, unconditional love. (Which is not to suggest these are not qualities a father can have – this is simply a means of categorisation.)
What we all know is that a global spiritual renaissance is re-connecting us to these elements, to the Earth, to an awareness of the horrific imbalances facing our world and all that’s in it, and to the destructiveness wrought by millennia of masculine dominance and a disavowal of the sacred generally and the feminine specifically. It’s no understatement to say that our future hangs in the balance.
Before the expression divine feminine entered my awareness, my life was nonetheless one of pursuit of creativity and intuition; and in business, one of community and collaboration – all elements of the feminine, and all ingredients in the heart-based entrepreneur’s practice.
In my perpetual seeking for more though, I became accidentally immersed in an expression of the feminine that was deeper, more subtle, and with consequences for who I was and how I lived that somehow paradoxically I’d been waiting for. Not being Catholic, or even Christian, I’d visited Lourdes in the south of France, a site of Christian pilgrimage for 160 years since a peasant girl, Bernadette Soubirous, had a series of visions of Mary, the Mother of Christ.
Unexpectedly, I experienced Mary’s presence myself that day, and over a series of months had a number of encounters with Her, with Mary Magdalene, and with several other women Saints (Catherine, Melangell, Anne, Rita, Scholastica and many more), as well as being introduced to the Goddesses of a number of cultures – Sekhmet, Hathor, Brigid, the Cailleach, Kali, and others. They continue to show up in my life and I continue to search them out. Their effects have been colossal.
Firstly, they set about ‘cleaning me out’. It seemed as though every emotional trauma and hang-up I’d ever had came rushing back into my consciousness. I felt ghastly for weeks. Months even. But I had only one place to go with all the overwhelming feelings that came up, and that was through them. It felt like I was cleaning out generations of shame, forwards as well as backwards.
Secondly, and as a consequence, a great many things became a lot lighter and I became a softer version of myself.
And thirdly, I let go. I let go of the longest list of things I could’ve imagined letting go of. And in that came a lesson I’d never known I needed or that even existed, which was: stop pushing.
Part of the wisdom of the feminine is to wait, to listen, to be receptive. Even in our respect for so much of the feminine – collaboration, creativity, intuition – who ever knew that waiting was something we needed to learn too? To quote a cartoon meme: I wanted enlightenment and I wanted it now!
I realised how tired I was of pushing, of demanding results from the Universe, of insisting on action from myself.
It’s a new type of leading. Because it’s not leading at all really. Not from the front, not from the back, not from anywhere.
Now, mysteriously, I’ve never been busier, more focused, more aligned to my purpose, or had as many clients.
The Catholic saints and Egyptian goddesses though are not the only means of exploring this vast topic. Creativity and nature are fundamental. Here are some new essentials I can recommend:
1. Feel your feelings. Part of finding lightness is exploring your darkness.
2. Foster quiet. Meditate, be still, create sacred space.
3. Listen. To your intuition, to your body.
4. Wait. It is a way to receive.
You yourself are an expression of the divine feminine. Hold that which is within you as sacred.
Sue Fitzmaurice is an author, editor, writing coach and publisher at Rebel Magic Books. She has published several books including two on the divine feminine: The Accidental Mary Pilgrimage and The Deliberate Mary Pilgrimage. In 2019 she’ll publish Journeys in the Divine Feminine, a collection of 25 stories of women’s spiritual lives. In 2020, she is leading a 10-day pilgrimage and retreat to sacred sites through France and Spain.
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Being on a TEDx stage and having the opportunity to share my message with the world was a rewarding experience. What made it really important to me, however, was the impact I had on people’s lives. But, as rewarding and important as it was, I’m not sure it was my most important talk.
I think of myself as a shy person, yet I always speak up, especially if it is to share something that will influence someone else. I had a friend in kindergarten who hated lentils. One day they served lentils for lunch, so I knew I needed to create a diversion to save my friend. I was sweating, and my heart was pounding as I thought about what I might do. After grace, I stood up on the table and announced: “I am from Crete, and I eat only meat.” After the teachers’ initial shock, everybody started laughing, and my friend and I were sent to the principal’s office. Mission accomplished! My friend didn’t have to eat food she hated.
When preparing for a talk, think about your mission. What is the result you’re looking for? How do you want your audience to feel after your talk?
In my TEDx talk, I wanted to touch their hearts, to make them laugh, to awaken the rebel in them, to motivate them to act, to spark a loving fire in their hearts so that they could love themselves a little more.
After you’re clear on the mission of your talk and how you want your audience to feel, close your eyes and visualize all of that manifesting, as if everything went exactly as you wanted. During your visualization, notice any emotions of excitement, empowerment, pride, happiness, or anything else you want to feel at the end of your talk. Then, you can begin to outline your speech.
Sidenote: Science has proven that visualization influences the brain. Google that for more info.
After my TEDx talk, people rushed to the stage to tell me how my story touched and changed them. It was what I had visualized, and that experience has changed the way I now prep for any talk. If you want that the next time you speak in public, use the process of visualizing how your audience is going to feel after your speech and create your talk based on the emotions you want to inspire. You can never go wrong with that.
Remember: emotion creates motion, and you want to evoke emotions when you speak so that your audience is moved, literally and figuratively speaking.
The #1 lesson
I learned on
a TEDx stage
By Chrisa T.S
5 Reasons Women Put the Brakes On Their Business
Video with Kathryn Yarborough
Chrisa T.S is a hypnotherapist who loves to guide and witness your transformation. Join her at https://mailchi.mp/9c8cf378223d/goal-getter-mindset-method and find your true purpose in life. Find her at her free Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/highachieversinnercircle/.
How to Take the Brakes Off Your Business
By Kathryn Yarborough
It’s that simple. Because when you have a compelling vision that energizes you, your blocks, resistances, and fears won’t stop you. But without that kind of vision, it’s easy to put the brakes on your business.
I know because until recently, I kept putting the brakes on mine.
Many women entrepreneurs put the brakes on their business. If you do, you’re not alone. And there’s usually a good reason.
5 Reasons Women Entrepreneurs Put the Brakes On Their Business:
1. Your vision for the future of your business doesn’t excite you. So when you imagine having more clients, something feels off and your brakes go on.
2. You’ve had negative experiences in the past so you unconsciously (or consciously) think they’ll happen again. For example, your marketing didn’t work, so when it comes to promoting your services, your brakes are on. Or maybe, you’ve felt betrayed by a past client, so when you think about attracting more clients, your brakes go on.
3. You feel scared of success, failure, change, responsibility, or something else. Because of the fear, your brakes are on.
4. Someone says “No” to your offer and your brakes go on.
5. Life. Maybe a loved one needs you, so you put the brakes on your business. Maybe you need money to pay the bills, so you get a job and your business gets parked in the garage.
Why I’ve Taken my Brakes Off
A month ago, I sent an email to my e-list about my upcoming Take Your Brakes Off Workshop and nothing.
No responses. No registrations. Nada.
But I was still hopeful.
Sending an email to the people on my e-list was only one thing I could do to tell folks about my workshop. There were lots of other things I could do. So, I made a list.
But the next day, hope was gone.
And the brakes were on.
I thought, “I should just quit.” Even though I had already reserved the space for five different locations and enrolled eight sponsors, I thought, “Why not quit? Why keep going if no one is interested?”
With the brakes on, I felt miserable. I was lying face down in the mud and nothing was going to get me out of it.
I went to see a movie just to get through the hours of discouragement.
My Future, On Purpose Self Helped Me
The next day, I reconnected with my future, on purpose self. This future me feels great. She does live events all the time and they’re full. People want to go to her events! She’s a leader. She runs a thriving business. She inspires others and makes a difference in their lives.
I took myself on a guided journey to meet with my future, on purpose self. She reached a hand to the me who was face down in the mud and invited me to join her on my “purpose path.”
I let her pull me up onto it.
Your Purpose Path
Your purpose path takes you from where you are to where your future, on purpose self exists. It’s like a moving sidewalk.
When I’m on mine, I feel energized, excited, motivated and purposeful. I feel like I’m becoming my future, on purpose self. When I’m on it, “Nos” from others wash over me like water drops from a light summer rain.
I realized I could give up. But if I did, not only would I be giving up on the workshop, I’d be giving up on my future, on purpose self.
Giving Up is NOT an Option!
It became clear to me that giving up was not an option because I really want to be her. Instead, I did my daily journaling and cleared my blocks. I opened to Divine guidance.
And I took more action.
Then two people registered. Yay!
And then some more people registered. And then a few more.
I haven’t reached my goal yet, but I am on my way and very excited about the journey.
If you want to take the brakes off your business, create a compelling vision for your future that excites you so much that nothing will stop you.
One way I help my clients do this is by taking them on a guided journey to meet with and get to know their on purpose, future self. In fact, that’s one of the things that’s going to happen in the Take Your Brakes Off Workshop!
In the meantime, you can get started with some journaling. Here are some prompts you can use. Have fun!
1. If anything were possible...
2. I’m growing a business I love and this means...
3. In the future, I feel great about myself because...
To take the brakes off your business, create a vision for the future that excites you so much that nothing will stop you from manifesting it!
Kathryn Yarborough is the creator of the Manifesting Clients Academy and an inspirational speaker. She is doing her Take Your Brakes Off Workshop this fall in Florida and Maryland. You can find out more about it at www.TakeYourBrakesOff.com.
Simple Ways You Can Direct and Effect Your Life
By Claudette Gadsden
You get what you expect. Have you ever approached a situation knowing it was not going to work? Were you surprised when it turned out just the way you thought it would? When something is coming up in your life, set an intention for how you want it to flow and what you expect the outcome to be. Mike Dooley, author of the Matrix and sender of Notes from the Universe, says it’s not our job to worry about the cursed ‘hows.’ Our job is to decide what we want and allow the Universe to worry about the cursed ‘hows.’ When I worry about how something will work, I lose sight of my intentions for good.
Send Success Before You
I once had a job where I heard grievances and issued disciplinary actions, including terminations. I never knew what the day would bring because each day was different. Before I got out of the car, I would send peace and success into the office. I affirmed that the day would be productive, and the office surrounded by and oozing peace. One day I was feeling heavy because I had to terminate a young man. After the meeting, I took a walk to calm myself. As I headed back to the building, he was walking out. He said, “you warned me that my actions would get me into trouble, and I didn’t listen. You didn’t fire me. I fired myself. Can I give you a hug?” I was blown away. Sending peace and success before me created days of joy, in spite of my duties.
Serving others helps you recognize the gifts you have to share with the world. I’m not just talking about volunteering, although that’s a great way to serve others. I’m also talking about serving the folks you meet every day in your work and personal life. I used to meet people, and as soon as they told me who they were and what they did, I started thinking about how they could help me with whatever project I had going at that time. Sometimes they could help, sometimes not. But I would leave the encounter feeling needy and clingy. I realized that approach was not working for me emotionally, and it felt like I was putting my success or failure in someone else’s hands. I now use a different approach. First, I want to be present enough to know if there is something I can do for them. Could I introduce them to someone doing the same work? Could I connect them with someone for collaborations? How can I serve them? This approach makes me more memorable. People see me as a connector instead of someone in search of opportunities to advance my cause.
What do you bring to the table? Don’t be a Bottom Babe (BB). A BB brings the basics to the table. You plan a seafood feast, potluck style. Everyone brings an amazing array of seafood prepared in delicious, loving ways and presented beautifully. The BB walks in with a package of imitation crab meat and asks the host for the remaining ingredients to make a dip. It’s not because she can’t afford something more, it’s that she is a taker of value rather than a bringer of value. When you bring value to a situation, a meeting or a meal, you’re saying “I honor me and you. I honor us enough to bring value to our mutually beneficial relationship.”
Claudette Gadsden is the Influence Coach helping professional woman increase the influence in their world. She is CEO of Coach Claudette & Associates and innkeeper at Temple in the Woods, a small bed & breakfast off the beaten path in the Middle Peninsula of Virginia.
Our next issue
is coming November 1.
On Purpose Woman Magazine is for women and by women. I am proud to be a part of it. Our voices matter. Our businesses matter. Our leadership matters. And what we care about matters.
Thank you for your part. This magazine exists because of women like you who read it, write for it, advertise in it, contribute in any way to it, and share it with their friends.
Kathryn Yarborough, Creative Director
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